IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, nobody will buy printed news papers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #news #papers #books
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In the next decades,
people
Use synonyms
 will opt to use their mobile phones or
gadgets
Use synonyms
 for reading
news
Use synonyms
 or
books
Use synonyms
.
For some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
 of them prefer not to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
printed
Use synonyms
news papers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
show examples
 or
books
Use synonyms
 because it will
costs
Change the verb form
cost
show examples
 them more than utilizing their own phones online. Partially, many
people
Use synonyms
 still utilize printed
Use synonyms
news papers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
show examples
 and
books
Use synonyms
 rather than using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online because they don't know how to use
gadgets
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their ages.
The older
Correct article usage
Older
show examples
 adults still enjoy reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
printed ones since they are used to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 without
gadgets
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phones.
However
Linking Words
, half of the population
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 born with the trending
gadgets
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 and are educated enough
in utilizing
Change preposition
to utilize
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in daily life. There are subjects that are taught in every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 nowadays
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to read online rather than using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
printed ones. They find using their mobile phone more convenient and easy for them to understand what they are reading about.
Likewise
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 find buying printed
Use synonyms
news papers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
show examples
 and
books
Use synonyms
 more expensive rather than utilizing their complex and powerful
gadgets
Use synonyms
. There are countries that regulate the production of paper
thus
Linking Words
 saving the fund
that is
Linking Words
 supposed for printing.
Instead
Linking Words
 of spending the money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 paper production, they prefer to invest it in supporting technology as their main resource to its economy. To summarize, I somewhat agree that spending money to use printed newspapers and
books
Use synonyms
 in reading is not really helpful.
Instead
Linking Words
, utilizing the technology that it can offer is
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 helpful in acquiring information.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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relevant specific examples
Your essay contains relevant points, but providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments. Try including real-world scenarios or data to support your points.
logical structure
To improve your logical structure, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use clear transitions between ideas, and consider organizing your paragraphs more systematically. For instance, you could address all the reasons why people may abandon printed materials before discussing why some may still prefer them.
introduction conclusion present
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, making these sections more explicit and powerful could improve your essay. Ensure the introduction clearly presents your stance and the key points you will discuss. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points while reinforcing your argument.
complete response
Your essay clearly addresses the topic and includes a balanced view, considering both perspectives. This shows a good understanding of the issue.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your overall stance on the issue, which provides a clear and definitive end to your essay.
logical structure
You have structured your essay into clear paragraphs, which helps in maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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