IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

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A large number of
products
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 that we purchase today are easy to break or deform.
This
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 trend can
increase
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 the financial rewards for manufacturers, but it could affect producers' credibility. Despite these
products
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 being affordable and cheaper for consumers, they have no longevity and people will replace them quickly. One of the main advantages of
this
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 overwhelming development is an
increase
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companies'
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in companies'
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 profits. The producers of cheap and low-quality
goods
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 often use low-value materials, which do not need a huge investment and they can manufacture them in a higher quantity. Thereby, they could sell
goods
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 in large numbers with poor quality, which in the long run could
increase
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 their revenue.
However
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,
although
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this
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 could benefit manufacturers, but could impact their reliability and credibility. To illustrate, if buyers find these
products
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 are easy to wear, they will not trust these companies or brands anymore and they like to buy these
goods
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 from other producers.
Additionally
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, consumers buy these
products
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 because they are affordable and cheap. Many individuals, particularly people who have a low-paid job, are not able to afford
goods
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such
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 as clothes from well-known markets, they prefer to buy their needs from shops that have unexpansive
items
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. In spite of the affordability of these
items
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, the cheaper
products
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 are easy to break or wear because they are produced from low-quality substances;
as a result
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, customers often need to replace them.
For example
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, in fast fashion, many brands today manufacture clothes very quickly and
in
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at
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 a good price, they do not pay attention to the quality of the
items
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,
thus
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 these clothes are worn after a few months of using them. In conclusion, there is a significant
increase
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 in the number of producing poor and cheap quality
products
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.
While
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this
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 trend plays a vital role in raising the company's income and providing more convenient
items
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, I believe its drawbacks outweigh its benefits. It could decrease the customers' trust in that company, and customers often need to replace them because they are deformed quickly

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task achievement
While your essay presents a complete response and clearly addresses the prompt, try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that is explicitly connected back to the topic. This will enhance clarity for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well organized, but consider using more varied transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the logical flow and make the argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay, helping to fulfill the requirements of the task.
task achievement
Your essay uses specific examples, such as the fast fashion industry, to illustrate points effectively, which helps to ground your arguments in real-world scenarios.
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