IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people argue that being highly qualified is the only way to ensure high paying jobs while other believe that having work experience is the best way to get a well paying job. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #jobs #work #job
Nowadays many
people
 believe that highly qualified
people
 are more susceptible to high salaries than non-qualified
people
,
while
 others outweigh work
experience
 over educational qualifications. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and I will write down my opinion.
To begin
 with, employing qualified persons ensures a good way to
implementing
Wrong verb form
implement
show examples
 any procedures,
although
 knowledge of working details can be beneficial or adversely affect
job
 processes. So, most enterprises looking for
people
 holding higher degrees, to ensure
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 quality of work and maintain their reputation.
However
, qualified employees reduce the expenses and time that may needed for teaching and learning of unqualified employees. Eventually, companies prefer to employ
people
 with educational qualifications and earn higher wages to attract them, because their education will add to their companies and their presence more fruitful to the enterprises.
On the other hand
, working
experience
 is crucial for any
job
 to be perfect on that
job
. Albeit, it is indispensable for the presence of certification. Some jobs
such
 as carpentry, plumbing and painting, are permitted working without certifications. So, their salaries are impacted by their experiences. In my perspective, working
experience
 and qualifications
coinciding
Wrong verb form
coincide
show examples
 with each other. The existence of enough knowledge and
experience
 leads to a higher salary.
In addition
, acquiring more certificates, certified courses and doing postgraduate studies are more valuable for getting more money. In conclusion, some
people
 argue that the are
people
 holding higher certificates who only can gain a lot of money
while
 others believe that work
experience
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 important than finding a
job
 with a high income. In
this
 era, learning and knowledge are important to acquire more money.
Secondly
, working
experience
 adds to the personal career pathway and self-worth.
Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical connection between ideas to ensure smoother transitions. Each paragraph should flow naturally into the next.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate the points being made. This helps to strengthen the argument and makes the essay more persuasive.
general advice
Review for grammatical improvements, such as ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct word usage. This will improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, aligning with the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion provide a strong frame for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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