IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IELTS In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
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 the environmental problems that the world is facing nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 argue that in the next years,
people
Use synonyms
 will have a difficult time
to survive
Change the verb form
surviving
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in
Change preposition
on
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 Earth. In regard to
this
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 matter,
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government
Add an article
the government
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 must invest in exploring other terrestrial planets
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 inhabitable and I, mostly agree with
this
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.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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NASA's journey to Mars has helped
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity
on
Change preposition
with
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 its history
as well as
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 its complexity when it comes to elements present in it. The
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government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
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this
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 exploration and
thus
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 assumes that
this
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 investment is effective for the future of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity. An amount of $1,000,000 has been funded
to
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for
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 NASA's rover creation and continuously seeking discoveries
in
Change preposition
on
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 the said planet. The information provided by
this
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 research may
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
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 that it can be possibly inhabited in the next centuries.
However
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, there are many issues in the world
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 still reversible. When it comes to environmental issues, the
government
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 has many resources to educate the
people
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 and create solutions
in
Change preposition
to
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 repairing the
distubrances
Correct your spelling
disturbances
disturbance
 that the
people
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 caused. There's still time to manage the effects of the environmental destroyers made by the factories. Based
from
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on
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 studies, the Pacific Ocean has been polluted for about 20% of its total area, and
thus
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 many countries residing
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this
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in this
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 ocean still have the chance of fixing and reliving to its original state.
Instead
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 of utilizing the
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 for exploration in the other planets, the
government
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 should form a platform funding the managements and agencies for education in solving
this
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 problem.
To conclude
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, investing in exploring
other planet
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
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 can be helpful in researching our history and origin.
However
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, I, generally agree that fixing and facing the problem of the Earth can be more helpful than trying to escape from it.

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen topic sentences to clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph, as this will enhance the logical structure of your essay. This helps the reader understand the flow of your argument better.
task achievement
Ensure you maintain consistency in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'people will have a difficult time to survive in Earth' should be 'people will have a difficult time surviving on Earth.'
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of your essay. This will also help in making your arguments more compelling and sophisticated.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the main points of the essay, which is very effective.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant examples, like NASA's funding and the Pacific Ocean's pollution, to support your ideas. This adds weight to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
You conclude by summarizing your viewpoint and restating your main argument, which helps to reinforce your perspective.
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