IELTS Writing task 2: In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Due to
the environmental problems that the world is facing nowadays, people
argue that in the next years, people
will have a difficult time to survive
Change the verb form
surviving
in
Earth. In regard to Change preposition
on
this
matter, government
must invest in exploring other terrestrial planets Add an article
the government
that
is
inhabitable and I, mostly agree with Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
.
The
NASA's journey to Mars has helped Correct article usage
apply
the
humanity Correct article usage
apply
on
its history Change preposition
with
as well as
its complexity when it comes to elements present in it. The government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
this
exploration and thus
assumes that this
investment is effective for the future of the
humanity. An amount of $1,000,000 has been funded Correct article usage
apply
to
NASA's rover creation and continuously seeking discoveries Change preposition
for
in
the said planet. The information provided by Change preposition
on
this
research may suggests
that it can be possibly inhabited in the next centuries.
Change the verb form
suggest
However
, there are many issues in the world that
is
still reversible. When it comes to environmental issues, the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
government
has many resources to educate the people
and create solutions in
repairing the Change preposition
to
distubrances
that the Correct your spelling
disturbances
disturbance
people
has
caused. There's still time to manage the effects of the environmental destroyers made by the factories. Based Correct subject-verb agreement
have
from
studies, the Pacific Ocean has been polluted for about 20% of its total area, and Change preposition
on
thus
many countries residing this
ocean still have the chance of fixing and reliving to its original state. Change preposition
in this
Instead
of utilizing the fund
for exploration in the other planets, the Fix the agreement mistake
funds
government
should form a platform funding the managements and agencies for education in solving this
problem.
To conclude
, investing in exploring other planet
can be helpful in researching our history and origin. Change the wording
another planet
other planets
However
, I, generally agree that fixing and facing the problem of the Earth can be more helpful than trying to escape from it.Submitted by dhowardjacob on
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coherence cohesion
Strengthen topic sentences to clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph, as this will enhance the logical structure of your essay. This helps the reader understand the flow of your argument better.
task achievement
Ensure you maintain consistency in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'people will have a difficult time to survive in Earth' should be 'people will have a difficult time surviving on Earth.'
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of your essay. This will also help in making your arguments more compelling and sophisticated.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the main points of the essay, which is very effective.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant examples, like NASA's funding and the Pacific Ocean's pollution, to support your ideas. This adds weight to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
You conclude by summarizing your viewpoint and restating your main argument, which helps to reinforce your perspective.