There are many things that can motivate people to perform well in their work. These can include the salary, job satisfaction or the chance to help others. What do you feel is the best motivation to do well at work? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Lately, many topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is
work
. In the succeeding paragraphs, the superior way of improving
job
performance
is to be discussed
along with
the writer's experience on the matter. The first point to emphasise is the
performance
bonus. It is a common fact that most
staff
are willing to
work
harder for the reason of gaining extra
rewards
.
For instance
, My parents were running a
restaurant
with 6
staff
, and they attempted to advance the
performance
of the
restaurant
and enhance the line between
staff
with the
restaurant
, so setting up an annual bonus system to inspire
staff
to
work
harder, which according annual profits and personal
performance
to calculate individual
rewards
how much they should get as the result is that the achievement of the
restaurant
have a significant rose more than 2 times, since employees comprehend that working
performance
is linked with their annual bonus.
Therefore
, physical
rewards
are better to inspire
staff
's
performance
.
On the other hand
, the second way is that
job
promotion. The reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
job
advancement is like a branch which drops people out from being swamped with career stagnation. To illustrate, a person interviews a big company since he/she knows where there are great opportunities for their career development, and a competitive environment to push high level in their experiences.
Hence
, for the sake of
job
promotion, people will
work
harder spontaneously in organizations. In conclusion, a good
performance
of working normally comes from two aspects, people who expect to gain physical or physical
rewards
.
Submitted by rosolook on

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task achievement
Your essay presents relevant ideas in response to the task, but try to develop them further. Your response needs to be more elaborate to fully satisfy the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly state your viewpoint and summarise your main points. While these elements are somewhat present, they could be more fully developed for a stronger impact.
task achievement
Expand on your main points by providing more detailed explanations and deeper analysis. Aim to fully develop each paragraph with clear and comprehensive ideas that are directly linked to the central topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Your ideas should be ordered in a clear, logical sequence. Consider using transition words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Include more relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. While you do provide examples, they can be made more relevant and impactful by relating them closely to the task's key question.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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