Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing organized activities after school.

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Children

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’s after-school

activities

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play a crucial role in their development.

While

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some believe that free play is more beneficial, others argue that organized

activities

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are better for learning. I agree with these

both

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views and argue that a balance between the two is the most effective approach. Free play after school offers

children

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the freedom to explore their creativity and build social

skills

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. When

children

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are left to play freely, they are not restricted by rules or instructions, which allows them to use their imagination.

For instance

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, a group of

children

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building a fort from cardboard boxes or playing pretend games

are

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show examples

learning teamwork, problem-solving, and decision-making.

Moreover

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, free play can reduce stress and give

children

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the chance to relax after a structured school day.

On the other hand

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, organized after-school

activities

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provide

children

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with opportunities to develop specific

skills

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For example

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, participating in sports or music lessons teaches discipline, focus, and goal-setting. These

activities

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also

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help

children

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develop talents that may be useful in their future.

For instance

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, a child who attends a football club learns teamwork and perseverance,

while

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a student in piano lessons develops patience and concentration.

Such

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structured programs can

also

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give

children

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a sense of achievement when they improve or master a new skill.

However

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, relying entirely on either approach can have drawbacks. Free play may lack the structure needed to build certain

skills

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while

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too many organized

activities

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can make

children

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feel pressured and overwhelmed.

Therefore

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, the best solution is to strike a balance between the two.

For instance

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children

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could participate in organized

activities

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two or three times a week

while

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leaving the remaining time for unstructured play.

This

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combination allows

children

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to enjoy the benefits of

both

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approaches, supporting their

overall

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development. In conclusion, free play fosters creativity and social

skills

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while

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organized

activities

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teach discipline and specialized abilities.

Both

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are essential for

children

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’s growth, and a balanced schedule ensures they gain the most from each. Parents and educators should encourage

children

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to engage in

both

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forms of

activities

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to help them grow into well-rounded individuals.

makemoneyizzy16Mon Jan 20 2025

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task achievement

While your essay effectively argues for a balance between free play and organized activities, consider adding a specific example or real study that supports the benefits of each to provide stronger evidence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs have clear linking words or phrases that create smooth transitions between ideas to further enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced viewpoint, showing understanding of both sides of the argument and then developing a nuanced conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Logical progression of ideas, with clear organization from introduction to conclusion, provides a coherent structure to the essay.

task achievement

Each main point is well-developed with supporting explanations, making the essay comprehensive and effectively detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

344 words

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Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing organized activities after school.

Your opinion

You had to cancel a meeting with a friend. Write a letter to him/her, in your letter - Apologise for cancelling the meeting - Explain why you couldn't be there - Suggest an alternative day when you could meet

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it will be one of the best ways to solve the environment problems to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?