Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #subjects #study

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The

phenonmenon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

of spoon-fed

education

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or cramming

education

Use synonyms

has aroused wide concern around the globe. Whether

children

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have the right to choose what to learn or not has

heat

Correct your spelling

hit

show examples

the headline.

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

advocates believe that learning should be based on

children

Use synonyms

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

Otherwise

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

would be

stressing

Replace the word

stressful

show examples

and meaningless to

children

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, those who stand on an entirely different ground proclaim that it is essential for

children

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to learn different kinds of subjects to ensure that they have basic knowledge in every aspect to fit in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. I am prone to support the idea that

children

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interest

Use synonyms

is the first priority. First of all, never should we overlook the tremendous stress that cramming

education

Use synonyms

has put on

children

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. A striking illustration is the tight schedules of students nowadays.

Everyday

Replace the word

Every day

show examples

, their time is filled with tests and assignments, after school, they are forced to attend different tutorials and

extra curricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities. These are all the "basic subjects" that parents expect their kids to

be acquired

Wrong verb form

acquire

show examples

. Under

this

Linking Words

mind of thinking, it is not difficult to understand why

children

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are experiencing stress and depression at a younger age nowadays. There is no doubt that learning

outcome

Fix the agreement mistake

outcomes

show examples

would be maximized when it is fitting into

children

Use synonyms

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

. When they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

learn what they

wished

Wrong verb form

wish

show examples

, they are more motivated and devoted

into

Change preposition

show examples

the activity. Meanwhile, the role of

educator

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educators

show examples

and parents is to assist them

to reach

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in reaching

show examples

their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

, but not suppress them and ask their

children

Use synonyms

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their own desire and

expectatios

Correct your spelling

expectations

expectation

. Admittedly,

children

Use synonyms

should learn various essential

skills

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to meet the

expectation

Fix the agreement mistake

expectations

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. Since

children

Use synonyms

are future pillars of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

, we do

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

wish our kids to be aloof

Change preposition

from

show examples

what is happening around us.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, it would be a tragedy

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, what

Change the capitalization

show examples

meant by "

esential

Correct your spelling

essential

skills

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' should not be focused on

examinnation

Correct your spelling

examination

skills

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and test results.

For example

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should learn about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social issues and basic

lfe

Correct your spelling

life

skills

Use synonyms

from school. The purpose of

required

Add an article

the required

a required

show examples

subject should be

cultivate

Fix the infinitive

to cultivate

show examples

our teenagers to be independent, critical, and caring. Under

this

Linking Words

mindset, we should let

children

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understandthe

Correct your spelling

understand the

importance

to learn

Change preposition

of learning

show examples

these knowledges

Fix the agreement mistake

this knowledge

show examples

and arouse their

interest

Use synonyms

towards these subjects.

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri Jul 26 2024

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task achievement

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the introduction could be stronger by rephrasing the topic more clearly. Additionally, some phrases and sentences are a bit unclear in their meaning, which affects comprehension.

task achievement

Keep an eye on spelling and grammatical errors such as 'enthe', 'fillful', and 'expectatios'. These small mistakes can distract from the clarity of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Try to use smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the essay flow better and make it easier for the reader to follow your argumentation.

task achievement

Support your main points with more specific examples. For instance, mentioning specific types of extracurricular activities that add stress to students would make your argument more compelling.

task achievement

Clarify some arguments in your paragraphs. For example, when you argue that 'essential skills' should not focus on examination skills, provide clearer reasoning and examples to strengthen the point.

task achievement

You have a clear and well-defined opinion on the topic, and you make an effort to support it with logical arguments.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of different perspectives.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and an attempt to introduce and conclude your ideas aptly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

366 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

motivation and engagement
creativity and individual strengths
innovative thinking
neglecting essential disciplines
fundamental for basic education
well-rounded education
necessary tools to succeed
structured curriculum
educational standards and equality
foundational knowledge
explore their interests
essential knowledge

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Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people believe that individuals should be responsible for their own health and healthcare. Others argue that it is the government's responsibility to provide healthcare services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?