Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
In modern life, technology has transformed the way that we form and maintain
relationships
. For some, these changes have been overwhelmingly positive but others believe that they have made us more isolated than before. I think that both of these views are valid but that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
Thanks to technology we are now able to communicate instantly with people
all over the world. This
communication is also
possible with a wide range of applications and devices for example
, through phone calls, video calls, emails
messages and sharing photos. Change the noun form
email
Additionally
there are now a number of dating sites and apps that allow us to start new Add a comma
Additionally,
relationships
.
These changes are predominantly positive for many people
. They argue that they allow us to stay in touch with people
all over the world and that our relationships
are no longer governed by geographical location. The fact that we can also
share information quickly and easily means that we are able to know a lot more about the people
that we communicate with.
However
, despite these benefits
there are Add a comma
benefits,
also
some negative aspects. For
example
some Add a comma
example,
people
spend much less time interacting face to face
than they did before. Add a hyphen
face-to-face
As a result
, it can be argued that the relationships
that we form are shallower due to
the fact that we can create a false, online personality rather than getting to know someone on a deeper, more personal level. It is certainly true that young people
today have a tendency to spend their time glued to their screens rather than meeting people
in the flesh.
In conclusion, it is clear that
modern communication is largely different than it used to do
be. I would argue that these impacts are generally positive but that we still need to ensure that we spend time nurturing Unnecessary verb
apply
relationships
with people
that we know in personSubmitted by drcamt on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured. However, to improve further, consider working on smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
task achievement
You have presented clear ideas and discussed both viewpoints adequately. To achieve higher marks, include more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure thorough proofreading to catch minor grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes, such as missing commas. For example: "emails messages" should be "emails, messages," and "used to do be" should be "used to be."
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, providing a good preview and summary of the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints effectively and provided a balanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic, reflecting a good understanding of the subject matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.