Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In modern life, technology has transformed the way that we form and maintain
relationships
. For some, these changes have been overwhelmingly positive but others believe that they have made us more isolated than before. I think that both of these views are valid but that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Thanks to technology we are now able to communicate instantly with
people
all over the world.
This
communication is
also
possible with a wide range of applications and devices
for example
, through phone calls, video calls,
emails
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email
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messages and sharing photos.
Additionally
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Additionally,
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there are now a number of dating sites and apps that allow us to start new
relationships
. These changes are predominantly positive for many
people
. They argue that they allow us to stay in touch with
people
all over the world and that our
relationships
are no longer governed by geographical location. The fact that we can
also
share information quickly and easily means that we are able to know a lot more about the
people
that we communicate with.
However
, despite these
benefits
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benefits,
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there are
also
some negative aspects.
For
example
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example,
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some
people
spend much less time interacting
face to face
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face-to-face
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than they did before.
As a result
, it can be argued that the
relationships
that we form are shallower
due to
the fact that we can create a false, online personality rather than getting to know someone on a deeper, more personal level. It is certainly true that young
people
today have a tendency to spend their time glued to their screens rather than meeting
people
in the flesh. In conclusion,
it is clear that
modern communication is largely different than it used to
do
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apply
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be. I would argue that these impacts are generally positive but that we still need to ensure that we spend time nurturing
relationships
with
people
that we know in person
Submitted by drcamt on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured. However, to improve further, consider working on smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
task achievement
You have presented clear ideas and discussed both viewpoints adequately. To achieve higher marks, include more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure thorough proofreading to catch minor grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes, such as missing commas. For example: "emails messages" should be "emails, messages," and "used to do be" should be "used to be."
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, providing a good preview and summary of the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints effectively and provided a balanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic, reflecting a good understanding of the subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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