Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In modern times, technology has become an unavoidable solution to cope with the work environment on a daily basis, even for children. The purposefully curated advancement has forced the younger generation to spend most of their time in front of screens.
As a result
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,
this
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has resulted in many side effects.
However
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, I neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
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point of view and will justify my statement with reasons and examples.
To begin
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with, technology has become a primary source for creating and transferring information at an unprecedented pace.
Firstly
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, data can be found easily from the convenience of your own home.
For example
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, search engines
such
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as Google and Bing are rapidly improving their performance over time and incorporating more sophisticated developments,
such
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as artificial intelligence, which enhances the accuracy and delivery of curated information.
In addition
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, remote teaching opportunities have enabled students in rural areas to find educators in urban cities and access quality educational resources.
Moreover
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, social media platforms
such
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as YouTube for Kids provide youngsters with a free creative stage to bring attention to their talents and generate a revenue stream at an early stage, capturing a wide range of audience.
As a result
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, kids can develop a confident, successful, and meaningful life and career in the long term.
However
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, the downside of spending a massive amount of their early developmental stage in front of screens definitely affects both physical and mental health.
For example
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, early-age sedentary behaviour gradually leads to the development of lazy habits, resulting in chronic metabolic diseases and vision problems.
In addition
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, the state of mental health is severely affected by the continuous overflow of novel information and stimulation at an unprecedented rate.
For example
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, in recent years, social media influence has resulted in increased depression, suicide, and attention deficit in early adolescence. These problems cannot be overlooked, as they result in consequences that affect these children over their lifetime. In conclusion, the use of advanced technology should be properly monitored and supervised by adults to bring positive outcomes and reduce the negative consequences, thereby allowing young people to effectively benefit from it.

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task achievement
Consider presenting a more balanced argument by addressing the opposing viewpoint more thoroughly, which would enhance your task achievement score.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices to improve the logical flow between your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your points.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
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