Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In modern society, there is an ongoing debate about whether parents should choose
leisure
time
activities
for their
children
or not, with some
people
believing that
children
have to choose their own free
time
activities
. In
this
essay, I will argue and explain my opinion about
this
topic. On the one hand, there are two reasons to choose
activities
by parents.
Firstly
, most
children
spend meaningless
time
in their free
time
such
as playing video games and watching TV programs on TV or mobile devices.
Furthermore
, young
people
are exposed to a huge amount of violent information and videos through these
activities
. For these reasons, countless adults favour preparing free
time
activities
for their
children
, which are studies and education.
Moreover
, numerous
children
have the benefit of great academic grades through educational
activities
in their
leisure
time
.
For example
,
according to
the National Statistics Office, most students have increased by 30% of academic
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
show examples
since they studied in their free
time
.
On the other hand
, having free
time
exerts a positive effect on
people
's mental and physical health.
Also
, many students have outdoor
activities
in their
leisure
time
in order to resolve stress because they get stressed at school.
As a result
, all young
people
should be free to choose what they want to do in their free
time
.
Additionally
, by having what they want to do,
children
may realise what they are
interestedin
Correct your spelling
interested in
.
For instance
, all famous artists in the world look for their interests through free
time
activities
. In my opinion, there are some advantages and disadvantages.
However
,
it is clear that
being free to choose their
activities
helps them to look for their interests and potential. In conclusion,
while
it is undeniable that free
time
activities
that parents organise are beneficial, it is apparent that
leisure
time
activities
that
children
choose by themselves have a more positive influence on their health and dreams.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the essay and reiterating the main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion which is essential for task response.
task achievement
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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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