Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern society, there is an ongoing debate about whether parents should choose
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
activities
for their Use synonyms
children
or not, with some Use synonyms
people
believing that Use synonyms
children
have to choose their own free Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
activities
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will argue and explain my opinion about Linking Words
this
topic.
On the one hand, there are two reasons to choose Linking Words
activities
by parents. Use synonyms
Firstly
, most Linking Words
children
spend meaningless Use synonyms
time
in their free Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
such
as playing video games and watching TV programs on TV or mobile devices. Linking Words
Furthermore
, young Linking Words
people
are exposed to a huge amount of violent information and videos through these Use synonyms
activities
. For these reasons, countless adults favour preparing free Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
activities
for their Use synonyms
children
, which are studies and education. Use synonyms
Moreover
, numerous Linking Words
children
have the benefit of great academic grades through educational Use synonyms
activities
in their Use synonyms
leisure
Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
according to
the National Statistics Office, most students have increased by 30% of academic Linking Words
performances
since they studied in their free Fix the agreement mistake
performance
time
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, having free Linking Words
time
exerts a positive effect on Use synonyms
people
's mental and physical health. Use synonyms
Also
, many students have outdoor Linking Words
activities
in their Use synonyms
leisure
Use synonyms
time
in order to resolve stress because they get stressed at school. Use synonyms
As a result
, all young Linking Words
people
should be free to choose what they want to do in their free Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
Additionally
, by having what they want to do, Linking Words
children
may realise what they are Use synonyms
interestedin
. Correct your spelling
interested in
For instance
, all famous artists in the world look for their interests through free Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
activities
.
In my opinion, there are some advantages and disadvantages. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
it is clear that
being free to choose their Linking Words
activities
helps them to look for their interests and potential.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
it is undeniable that free Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
activities
that parents organise are beneficial, it is apparent that Use synonyms
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
activities
that Use synonyms
children
choose by themselves have a more positive influence on their health and dreams.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay would benefit from more specific, detailed examples to clearly support the main points. Try to include concrete scenarios or studies that illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the logical flow of arguments. Some sections may appear abrupt or disconnected. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the essay and reiterating the main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion which is essential for task response.
task achievement
Language is generally clear and understandable, making the ideas easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example