Some companies sponsor sport and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today’s world, numerous businesses support sports and idol athletics as a way of spreading themselves, a number of societies believe it is an interesting opinion,
while
other people have adverse views. In my point of view, advertising the image of idols in outside activities has both a beneficial view for them and their concern, on the contrary
also
it brings the
adverse effect on the companies if they are advertising incorrect people.
Correct article usage
an
To begin
with, nowadays, sports become one of the most interesting activities and also
create Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
job
for those who have passion and ambition, we can have a significant example Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
about
Change preposition
of
that is
sports favorite
who Change the spelling
favourite
are
the superstar and creating the role model for a plethora of community, with the support of a plethora of matters to advertise the idol, both of them can create more money and get more opportunity to be well-knownChange the verb form
is
,
if the business Remove the comma
apply
have
abundance influence, it can create more opportunity for numerous professional superstar to join.
Change the verb form
has
On the other hand
, spending money for advertising incorrect hero game
will give them Fix the agreement mistake
games
the
loss economy in finance, Correct article usage
a
for instance
, a plethora of star community
who have much Fix the agreement mistake
communities
of
Change preposition
apply
lost
and do not enhance themselves Replace the word
loss
although
having expression
of their burden, having the perfect example about Add an article
an expression
the expression
that is
Manchester United which was the champion team and influenced a number of involvement, on the
contrary
they start creating increasingly more loss and Add the comma(s)
contrary,
make
deficit economy in the finance of concern.
In conclusion, our choices have their pros and cons as was stated in the previous paragraphs. Advertising the image of Change the verb form
makes
celebrity
in outside activities has both a beneficial prospect for them and their interest, Add an article
a celebrity
on the
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
also
it brings the
adverse with Correct article usage
apply
the
companies if Correct article usage
apply
expressing for
advertising Verb problem
they are
Correct article usage
an incorrect
incorrect
nation.Change the word
incorrectly
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Task Response
Your introduction does a commendable job in setting the context for the discussion and presenting your opinion. However, it needs to be clearer and more concise to better capture the reader's attention.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Task Response
The essay would benefit from more relevant and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and illustrate your understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance clarity and comprehension, make sure to use transition words to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid overly complex sentence structures. Simplifying your sentences can significantly improve readability and reduce the chance of grammatical errors.
Task Response
Your essay addresses the task and provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is excellent for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, both of which are necessary components of a well-structured essay.
Task Response
The ideas presented in your essay are relevant to the topic and demonstrate an understanding of the subject matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.