the plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by slecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The figure
illustrastes
the changes that Correct your spelling
illustrates
has
Change the verb form
have
occured
to Grange Correct your spelling
occurred
park
which was first opened Capitalize word
Park
at
1920 until now. It is evident from the plans that the Change preposition
in
overall
features of the park
has
varied during these years.
In total, the Change the verb form
have
park
had only two entrances at the
Arnold Correct article usage
apply
avenue
and across Capitalize word
Avenue
the
Eldon Correct article usage
apply
street
. on the left and right Capitalize word
Street
side
of the first Fix the agreement mistake
sides
entrance
there were rose Add a comma
entrance,
gradens
, Correct your spelling
gardens
grades
while
a glasshouse were
Change the verb form
was
also
constructed in
the right side of the second Change preposition
on
entrance
. Some seats where
Correct your spelling
were
also
placed around the park
for the vistiters
Correct your spelling
visitors
convenient
. Replace the word
convenience
Moreover
, there is a fountain and a stage for musical performances in the center
.
It can be indicated that the Change the spelling
centre
park
has changed significantly. in the new plan
another Add a comma
plan,
entrance
can be seen which alomst
near the water features added next to Correct your spelling
almost
Correct article usage
the eldon
eldon street
Correct your spelling
Eldon Street
entrance
. Next,
fountain
was replaced by a large garden filled with roses and surrounded by seats. Add an article
the fountain
a fountain
Also
, the stage has developed to
an Change preposition
into
amphitheater
for concerts. Change the spelling
amphitheatre
Further
, a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children
play Change noun form
children's
erea
and a cafe Correct your spelling
area
is
built on the top right side of the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
park
.
In conclusion, the park
has gone through so many changes and a lot of different features and facilities were added.Submitted by TUTOO on
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grammar
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. For example, "has occurred" should be "have occurred" and "at 1920" should be "in 1920." Utilizing correct grammar will enhance clarity and coherence.
grammar
Some sentences are fragmented or lack a clear subject. For example, "on the left and right side of the first entrance there were rose gardens" could be rephrased to "There were rose gardens on both the left and right side of the first entrance." Proper sentence structure will make your essay more fluid.
cohesion
Your essay could benefit from greater use of cohesive devices to clearly link ideas and sections. For instance, phrases like 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', and 'As a result' can improve the flow between comparisons and contrasting points.
introduction
Your introduction is effective as it clearly states the purpose of the essay and introduces the time frame of the comparison.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the changes and provides a general overview of the transformations that occurred in the park.
task response
You included a variety of details and specific information from the diagrams, which demonstrates a strong level of engagement with the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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