In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains betwee cities Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing pub transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In many countries,

people

Use synonyms

believe that spending money to build intercity fast trains is important,

while

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others think that the already existing

railway

Use synonyms

needs improvement.

Although

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expanding the

transportation

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hub through fast trains may bring some benefit, I strongly believe that improving the already existing transport is more necessary. Regarding

this

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, launching new

railway

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lines is necessary to expand the city ranges. The existing

railway

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mostly only covered between the cities at a slow speed,

hence

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taking a long duration of the journey. If

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

it can be improved significantly,

then

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it would be beneficial for many

people

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, especially employers and students, who can save more time and be able to commute back and forth.

For example

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, the fast train 'Whooz' from Jakarta to Bandung, which covers almost 200 kilometres, takes only half an hour making the

people

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from both cities choose to commute every day rather than pay for rent,

therefore

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they can allocate their budget to other necessities.

However

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, the existing

transportation

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badly needs many improvements, both in the facilities and the safety measures. As more

people

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commute to other cities, safe and comfortable transportations are needed. Air conditioners and ergonomic seats should be added to bring more value to

transportation

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. Not only that, the engines

also

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need to be repaired periodically, so that the journey will be safe. In Indonesia, for instance, some of the seats are already torn, and sadly, there are still many accidents occurred

that is

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caused by the engines. In my opinion, rather than an expansion, an improvement should be the main priority. If the passengers are comfortable, fewer accidents would occur,

then

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the value of

transportation

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would be raised significantly.

Furthermore

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this

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will bring high revenue for the governments. In conclusion, the new fast

railway

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train does allow a lot of

people

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to be able to commute faster,

however

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, I believe, the improvements are more significant as both convenience and safety should be taken into account first.

aldawinonazThu Mar 07 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance the clarification and expansion of ideas, try incorporating a broader range of specific examples that vividly illustrate your points. This can make your arguments more relatable and convincing to the reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. This will not only improve the readability of your essay but also demonstrate your linguistic range.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to paragraphing. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Consistent and clear paragraphing can greatly enhance the logical flow of your essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic growth
connectivity
reduced travel times
environmental benefits
accessibility
maintenance
reliable services
cost-effectiveness
infrastructure
transformative
sustainability
affordability
inclusivity
transportation planning
comprehensive analysis
societal impact

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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains betwee cities Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing pub transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?