In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains betwee cities Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing pub transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In many countries,
people
believe that spending money to build intercity fast trains is important, while
others think that the already existing railway
needs improvement. Although
expanding the transportation
hub through fast trains may bring some benefit, I strongly believe that improving the already existing transport is more necessary.
Regarding this
, launching new railway
lines is necessary to expand the city ranges. The existing railway
mostly only covered between the cities at a slow speed, hence
taking a long duration of the journey. If the
it can be improved significantly, Remove the article
apply
then
it would be beneficial for many people
, especially employers and students, who can save more time and be able to commute back and forth. For example
, the fast train 'Whooz' from Jakarta to Bandung, which covers almost 200 kilometres, takes only half an hour making the people
from both cities choose to commute every day rather than pay for rent, therefore
they can allocate their budget to other necessities.
However
, the existing transportation
badly needs many improvements, both in the facilities and the safety measures. As more people
commute to other cities, safe and comfortable transportations are needed. Air conditioners and ergonomic seats should be added to bring more value to transportation
. Not only that, the engines also
need to be repaired periodically, so that the journey will be safe. In Indonesia, for instance, some of the seats are already torn, and sadly, there are still many accidents occurred that is
caused by the engines.
In my opinion, rather than an expansion, an improvement should be the main priority. If the passengers are comfortable, fewer accidents would occur, then
the value of transportation
would be raised significantly. Furthermore
, this
will bring high revenue for the governments.
In conclusion, the new fast railway
train does allow a lot of people
to be able to commute faster, however
, I believe, the improvements are more significant as both convenience and safety should be taken into account first.Submitted by aldawinonaz on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To enhance the clarification and expansion of ideas, try incorporating a broader range of specific examples that vividly illustrate your points. This can make your arguments more relatable and convincing to the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. This will not only improve the readability of your essay but also demonstrate your linguistic range.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Consistent and clear paragraphing can greatly enhance the logical flow of your essay.