Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest? m

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Nowadays one of our main
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems

The singular countable noun problem follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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is having a large of gyms but
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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sedentary behaviour is
ganging
Verb problem
gaining

There may be a verb use issue here.

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popularity in the world.The possible cause of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

underlying problem cause of
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

issues .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss
solution
Add an article
the solution

The noun phrase solution seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

dispute. The major reason why we have
inactive
Add an article
an inactive

The noun phrase inactive lifestyle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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lifestyle, for instance, many
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

especially teenagers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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don’t prefer going to the gym.They think it’s just a waste of time and money. But many humans don’t have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and time to go to the
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

club. Because of not enough time and finance.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

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a lot of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities

It seems that community may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are busy with work ,children and housekeeping resulting in not having enough age
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Also. Consider adding a comma.

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most of them will get
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mess cause of not enough physical activity.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

my solution to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

issues ,
we
Add a missing verb
is we

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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need
Add the particle
need to

It appears that the verb know should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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know how sport affects
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our life and bloom.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, even from a young age at school, at
university
Add a comma
university,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase at university. Consider adding a comma.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

should be the foundation.
Whether we
Correct word choice
We

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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will
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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compare
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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number of humans in Kazakhstan who
not
Add a missing verb
do not

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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play sports more than 60%and
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
playing
Wrong verb form
play

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb playing. Consider changing it.

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sports 39%
constitutes
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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. If they haven’t any chance to go to
gym
Add an article
the gym

The noun phrase gym seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can do it at home. In short
it’s depends
Change the verb form
it depends

It appears that the form of the verb depends does not work with ’s in this sentence.

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on
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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increase the number of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are for a healthy life, and care about our strength.
And the
Correct word choice
The

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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development
needs
Add the particle
needs to

It appears that the verb reduce should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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reduce the number of gyms which paid,
provide
Correct word choice
and provide

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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quantity of free gyms.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details and examples. The essay should address the prompt fully by identifying the problems caused by a sedentary lifestyle and providing detailed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitional phrases and connectives to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This can help the essay read more smoothly and coherently.
language
Check for grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to make the essay more engaging. Make sure to proofread the work for typos and small errors.
structure
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which frame the discussion appropriately.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of sedentary lifestyle and attempts to provide possible causes and solutions, maintaining relevance to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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