Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people would argue that
students
should not use
their mobiles
in schools
, others
would say that Correct word choice
while others
students
' mobiles
should not banned at school
. While
using mobile will help children to call their families and take photos for lessons, i
believe that using Change the capitalization
I
phones
during the school
day has a bad effect on student outcomes,
because they will not focus on their studies.
On the one hand, Remove the comma
apply
schools
should allow students
to use
their mobiles
. Because when they use
their phones
, they can take photos for class notes, so this
will safe time for teachers and students
. Moreover
, students
should have their phones
in case if
they have any problem, they can call their families. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, some schools
do
not strict about Verb problem
are
schools
time, sometimes they allow Change the noun form
school
students
to leave earlier. For that, having mobile in schools
is important. However
, I believe that gadgets wil
distract Correct your spelling
will
students
easily and they will feel
hard to focus on their lessons.
Verb problem
find it
On the other hand
, educational institutions should not allow any students
to bring their mobile at
Change preposition
to
school
. The
Correct article usage
School
school
time is important for learning and developing their skills, so they have to focus on their studies without any devices. For example
, a recent study found that the number of children had
their Correct pronoun usage
who had
mobiles
in schools
increased and this
had bad
effect on their outcomes.
In my opinion, I agree with Add an article
a bad
this
point view
because Change preposition
of view
schools
for
learning only and they can Add a missing verb
are for
use
their phones
at home.
In conclusion, although
some people argue that students
should have their mobiles
at school
, it has a negative effect on their grades and their education outcomes.Submitted by sarraadel1551 on
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task response
Your essay presents a clear stance and covers both viewpoints effectively. However, ensure that you are utilizing accurate grammar and diverse sentence structures consistently throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve further, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.
task response
Your points are relevant and reasonable, but try to include more detailed examples to back up your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make it more convincing.
task response
You have provided a balanced discussion of both views and stated your own opinion clearly, which is crucial for a task like this.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical order and includes an introduction and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
Your main points are clear and well-articulated, offering a comprehensive look at the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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