Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of grater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
The
life
of a normal humain
contains three phases. The first is the childhood phase. The second is the teenage Correct your spelling
human
years
and the finally
phase is the Change the adverb
final
adult
life
. Some people
think that the teenage years
are the happiest time of most people
's lives. Others think that adult
life
brings more happiness, in spite of grater
responsibilities. Correct your spelling
greater
The both
groups have logical reasons.
For the first Remove the article
Both
groups
, the best Fix the agreement mistake
group
period
on
our Change preposition
of
life
is the teenage years
. For some reasons
, they have Fix the agreement mistake
reason
right
. Indeed, in the teenage Fix the agreement mistake
rights
years
, people
have
not many responsibilities. It is a Add a missing verb
do have
period
of educational life
and dreams about the adult
life
. Such
college and university studies represent the famous characteristic of teenage life
.
Besides
, teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
years
is
the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
period
of travelling and discovering the world. Such
, the most beautiful travel was realised without children, wife or husband. It is only with friends and financial supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
by
parents.
Change preposition
from
However
, for some other people
, the great period
in our life
is the adult
life
for some causes. Firstly
, this
period
is the period
of construction family
and Fix the agreement mistake
families
tak
a job. It is the Correct your spelling
take
period
of respnsibilities
. Correct your spelling
responsibilities
Such
, after 30 old
Correct word choice
apply
years
, all people
have the same aims. These aims is fund
a job, Change the verb form
is to fund
mariage
and Correct your spelling
marriage
have
children.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Secondly
, for these people
, become
Wrong verb form
becoming
adult
and Correct article usage
an adult
take
responsibility Wrong verb form
taking
in
Change preposition
for
Correct pronoun usage
their job
job
or in Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
family
, is a natural phenomenon in Correct article usage
the family
humain
Correct your spelling
human
life
. Such
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
father
or mother is Add an article
a father
the father
the
great responsibility and Correct article usage
a
the
important work in Correct article usage
an
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
.
In my opinion, the great
Correct word choice
greatest
period
of life
is the teenage years
. For me, the only years
where the person think
about herself and Change the verb form
thinks
work
only for her aims are the teenage Correct subject-verb agreement
works
years
. In the
Correct article usage
apply
adult
life
, all our efforts and aims are related with
the aims of our children and our Change preposition
to
family
. We Fix the agreement mistake
families
not
have the time to work for Change the verb form
do not
did not
ourself
and for our happiness. Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
Also
, it not
Rephrase
no
exist
Verb problem
apply
a
time to travel and enjoy discovering the world.
In sum, teenage Correct article usage
apply
years
or adult
life
are important periods of our life
. It is normal to pass teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
years
and to become adult
and take Correct article usage
an adult
responsibilities
.Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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task achievement
Your essay touches on both views, but ensure that you evenly and thoroughly discuss both sides for a balanced argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will help make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each point is well-supported with relevant examples. This will help maintain reader interest and provide a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and word choice in order to make your essay clearer and more professional.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both views, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.