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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of grater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #years #time #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #grater #responsibilities
The
life
 of a normal
humain
Correct your spelling
human
 contains three phases. The first is the childhood phase. The second is the teenage
years
 and the
finally
Change the adverb
final
show examples
 phase is the
adult
life
. Some
people
 think that the teenage
years
 are the happiest time of most
people
's lives. Others think that
adult
life
 brings more happiness, in spite of
grater
Correct your spelling
greater
show examples
 responsibilities.
The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
 groups have logical reasons. For the first
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
, the best
period
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
life
 is the teenage
years
. For some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, they have
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
. Indeed, in the teenage
years
,
people
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not many responsibilities. It is a
period
 of educational
life
 and dreams about the
adult
life
.
Such
 college and university studies represent the famous characteristic of teenage
life
.
Besides
,
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
years
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the
period
 of travelling and discovering the world.
Such
 , the most beautiful travel was realised without children, wife or husband. It is only with friends and financial
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 parents.
However
, for some other
people
, the great
period
 in our
life
 is the
adult
life
 for some causes.
Firstly
,
this
period
 is the
period
 of construction
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and
tak
Correct your spelling
take
 a job. It is the
period
 of
respnsibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
Such
 , after 30
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
years
, all
people
 have the same aims. These aims
is fund
Change the verb form
is to fund
show examples
 a job,
mariage
Correct your spelling
marriage
 and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
children.
Secondly
, for these
people
,
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
 and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or in
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
, is a natural phenomenon in
humain
Correct your spelling
human
life
.
Such
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
father
Add an article
a father
the father
show examples
 or mother is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great responsibility and
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important work in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
. In my opinion, the
great
Correct word choice
greatest
show examples
period
 of
life
 is the teenage
years
. For me, the only
years
 where the person
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 about herself and
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 only for her aims are the teenage
years
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
life
, all our efforts and aims are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the aims of our children and our
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. We
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 have the time to work for
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 and for our happiness.
Also
, it
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
exist
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time to travel and enjoy discovering the world. In sum, teenage
years
 or
adult
life
 are important periods of our
life
. It is normal to pass
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
years
 and to become
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
 and take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
.
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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task achievement
Your essay touches on both views, but ensure that you evenly and thoroughly discuss both sides for a balanced argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will help make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each point is well-supported with relevant examples. This will help maintain reader interest and provide a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and word choice in order to make your essay clearer and more professional.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both views, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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