Some people say that the characteristic we are born will have many much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in life. To what extent do you agree with this?

Undoubtedly, some folks notion that
habits
Correct article usage
the habits
show examples
of a
person
who
born
Add a missing verb
is born
show examples
with them
effects
Change the verb form
effect
show examples
their character and success rather than having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
multifarious
experiences
in their whole
life
. In
this
essay, I will analyze my viewpoints in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disagreement
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
statement in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, not only people
inspire
Wrong verb form
inspired
show examples
form their
birth
characteristics, but
experiences
play a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
because everyone
learners
Correct your spelling
learns
show examples
from their mistakes.
Due to
this
, if a
person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
something wrong in their
life
then
their growth depends on the upcoming actions, after experiencing the consequences of the errors. Even though, people can be able to try
a extraordinary approaches
Correct the article-noun agreement
an extraordinary approach
extraordinary approaches
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
getting a fruitful
life
.
Moreover
, during
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every stage of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life
, personality needs
change
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to change
show examples
because of
a changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
changes
a change
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maturity levels.
Therefore
,
experiences
guide to
person
's expansion and
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
matters a lot for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development as compared to
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
childhood habits because
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
of children represents the characters and
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
them to do wonderful things. Even though, living in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incredible surroundings
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
nature because they spend most of their time at home.
For example
,
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
did
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
experiment on twin
brother's
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brothers
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Hollywood movie (Circus), and both children's
adopt
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adopted
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
two different families. After 20 years of the
birth
of kids,
doctor
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doctors
show examples
found that environment matters a lot for
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
growth
instead
of the
birth
habits.
To conclude
,
immense
Add an article
an immense
the immense
show examples
amount of influence depends on people's
life
experiences
instead
of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
birth
characteristics because everyone
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
Add an article
a lesson
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
from their errors, maturity levels make changes in personality and,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
factors inspire a lot.
Also
, developments in every stage of
life
are lucrative for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
achieving a fruitful
life
.
Submitted by kulvir1910 on

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grammar
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structure
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evidence
Support your points with more specific examples and data. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
structure
You have made a clear attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You have highlighted the importance of experiences and environment, which are relevant counterarguments to the topic statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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