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Some people say that the characteristic we are born will have many much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in life. To what extent do you agree with this?

#people #influence #personality #development #experiences #life
Undoubtedly, some folks notion that
habits
Correct article usage
the habits
show examples
 of a
person
 who
born
Add a missing verb
is born
show examples
 with them
effects
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effect
show examples
 their character and success rather than having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
multifarious
experiences
 in their whole
life
. In
this
 essay, I will analyze my viewpoints in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disagreement
of
Change preposition
with
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above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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 statement in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, not only people
inspire
Wrong verb form
inspired
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 form their
birth
 characteristics, but
experiences
 play a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 because everyone
learners
Correct your spelling
learns
show examples
 from their mistakes.
Due to
this
, if a
person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 something wrong in their
life
then
 their growth depends on the upcoming actions, after experiencing the consequences of the errors. Even though, people can be able to try
a extraordinary approaches
Correct the article-noun agreement
an extraordinary approach
extraordinary approaches
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 getting a fruitful
life
.
Moreover
, during
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every stage of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life
, personality needs
change
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to change
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 because of
a changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
changes
a change
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maturity levels.
Therefore
,
experiences
 guide to
person
's expansion and
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 matters a lot for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development as compared to
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 childhood habits because
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
 of children represents the characters and
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 them to do wonderful things. Even though, living in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incredible surroundings
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
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 nature because they spend most of their time at home.
For example
,
doctor
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a doctor
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 did
the
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an
show examples
 experiment on twin
brother's
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brothers
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 in
the
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a
show examples
 Hollywood movie (Circus), and both children's
adopt
Change the form of the verb
adopted
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 two different families. After 20 years of the
birth
 of kids,
doctor
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doctors
show examples
 found that environment matters a lot for
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 growth
instead
 of the
birth
 habits.
To conclude
,
immense
Add an article
an immense
the immense
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 amount of influence depends on people's
life
experiences
instead
 of
the
Change the word
their
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birth
 characteristics because everyone
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
Add an article
a lesson
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lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 from their errors, maturity levels make changes in personality and,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 factors inspire a lot.
Also
, developments in every stage of
life
 are lucrative for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
achieving a fruitful
life
.
Submitted by kulvir1910 on

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grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy. Some sentences have structural errors that can make the meaning unclear.
structure
Try using a greater variety of sentence structures to improve your writing style.
evidence
Support your points with more specific examples and data. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
structure
You have made a clear attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You have highlighted the importance of experiences and environment, which are relevant counterarguments to the topic statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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