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Writing Samples
Band 7

task1 the graph below gives iformation on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

task1 the graph below gives iformation on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020
#iformation #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period
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The line graph provides key information about the figures of
people
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 who take
a
Correct article usage
apply
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part
for
Change preposition
in
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 some activities (
film
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club
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 -martial arts -amateur dramatics -table tennis -musical performances) at a social centre in Australia specifically in Melbourne from 2000 to 2020. First of all, there were
not
Correct your spelling
no
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people
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 who joined musical performances in 2000 and 2005. In 2010 the number of participants increased to 10
people
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, table tennis and amateur dramatics in 2000 were almost 15 and 25, respectively. It is
also
Linking Words
 important to highlight that, both table tennis and amateur dramatics were the same number of
people
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 who joined the
club
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 in 2010, at 20
people
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.
However
Linking Words
, martial arts in 2000 was around 35
people
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, martial arts peaked in 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
film
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Use synonyms
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
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 almost the trend steady
in
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apply
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over the 20 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
film
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Use synonyms
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
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 decreased in 2010
than
Correct your spelling
then
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 jumped in 2020.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that, the
film
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club
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 was the most activity
people
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 enjoyed comparison with musical performances.
Submitted by joudaalhammadi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, film, club with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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