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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring up their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #course #children
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Raising
children
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 has always been
such
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 a huge struggle for
parents
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, and
due to
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 the significant changes in our lifestyle,
parents
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 are nowadays under a lot of pressure regarding
this
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 issue. In order to overcome
this
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 challenge, some people believe that
parents
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 should participate in parenting lessons, so that they gain the knowledge of raising a
child
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. I completely agree with
this
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 point of view and in the following will elaborate on it. One of the benefits of
parents
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 taking training courses is that they learn how to figure out their
child
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’s demands and problems. In the past, miscommunication was the major conflict between
parents
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 and
children
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, and since training lessons had not been so popular among
parents
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, they would have faced a lot of trouble communicating with their offspring. To exemplify,
children
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 did not have the courage to show their low grades to their
parents
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 because they were scared of getting punished even if their
parents
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 did not mean to actually do so.
This
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 issue was a result of poor parent-
child
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 relationships, but hopefully these days with the help of training courses,
such
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 problems are starting to fade away. The other advantage of teaching
parents
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 how to bring up their
child
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 is the effects on
parents
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 themselves. It is evident that raising
children
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 puts excessive mental, physical, and financial pressure on
parents
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. The old-fashioned methods of nurturing a
child
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 are often similar to trial and error methods which could result in massive mental and financial stress for
parents
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.
For instance
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, if
parents
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 send their
child
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 to a costly acting class without knowing their
child
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’s capabilities, it may lead to a failure if their
child
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 is not interested in
such
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 activities.
This
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 shows that being trained on how to nurture a
child
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 is more cost-effective.
On the other hand
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, some people don’t believe in the importance of being trained as a parent. Their debate is that parenting is an instinctive skill, and does not require being developed.
While
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 it may be true that some parts of parenting are innate, in my opinion, it can be promoted through learning, to achieve greater outcomes. All in all, attending parenting lessons can have significant impacts on both
parents
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 and
children
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,
such
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 as building more efficient parent-
child
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 relationships and reducing pressure on
parents
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. I definitely hold the view that it is necessary for
parents
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 to be trained on how to raise a
child
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.
Submitted by basri.fateme on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well by presenting a clear stance. However, try to include a brief mention of the main points you will discuss.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. You did this well, but tightening it up a little could improve the flow even more.
logical structure
Use transition words and phrases more consistently to link sentences and ideas together for even better coherence and flow.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have effectively presented a clear argument and have sufficiently elaborated on your points.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples were used to support your arguments, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your position clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting training
  • child-rearing
  • valuable guidance
  • effective techniques
  • child development
  • psychology
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