It is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Support your answer with specific reasons and details.

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In the current world, it has become common for students that work and study in the same period.

While

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some critics disagree with

this

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statement, I totally agree with

this

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thought. Analysing the situation, the youngest can learn the theoretical subject and practice their understanding in a job.

This

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essay will explain why is so important to have a job

while

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studying.

Firstly

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, a variety of university courses

offers

Correct subject-verb agreement

offer

show examples

only theoretical classes, without hands-on.

According to

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this

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, teenagers will discover what they really want to be as professionals just in the end of college.

For

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this

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reason, finding a job in their area will encourage them to follow their desire. As a health professional, the process of working

while

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I was studying was the key to continuing in

this

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field.

This

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experience increased my curiosity and gave me knowledge that books cannot give.

Furthermore

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, the possibility to enrol on an internship is the best pathway to choose. In

this

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case, a guide, who will teach and provide support throughout the process, will supervise the student. Happily, many technical schools are adopting

this

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model,

such

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as Melbourne Polytechnic, that offer final-year students the opportunity to work with partners in areas like engineering technology and information technology.

As a result

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, teenagers became more responsible and interested to

keeping

Change the form of the verb

keep

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studying it. In summary, providing the experience of working during school time is an excellent pathway to develop motivated and reliable students. In my perspective,

this

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possibility can open a new window in teenagers' lives and the knowledge can be used to

further

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their careers.

Marília Bortoluz RechTue Mar 18 2025

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task achievement

While your introduction is clear, consider rephrasing the thesis statement to better outline the specific reasons you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your paragraphs are generally well-structured. However, ensure that each topic sentence clearly states the main idea of the paragraph to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Adding more specific examples or elaborating on your points can strengthen the arguments and provide a deeper insight into your views.

coherence and cohesion

Consider varying your vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and engagement of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion and explores relevant points regarding the benefits of working while studying.

task achievement

The use of personal experience adds a strong personal touch, showcasing your understanding and engagement with the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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It is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Support your answer with specific reasons and details.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems? What measures could be taken to solve them?

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

IBY, In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that hard work will always bring financial sucess. Others say that hard word work is nt enough and that other things are also needed for financial success. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?