Research shows that increasing numbers of people are now living in mega-cities: cities of more than 20 million inhabitants. Is this a positive or negative development

#research #numbers #people #mega-cities #cities #million #inhabitants #development

In today's world, high

population

density is increasingly evident in metropolitan areas, with some cities now exceeding 20 million inhabitants.

While

there are several benefits associated with the economic and social dynamics of these mega-cities, the detrimental effects on the environment and quality of life can outweigh these advantages. It is widely known that taxes provide a significant portion of government revenue. A large

population

can alleviate the tax burden

due to

the high number of taxpayers.

Moreover

, a

population

with high intelligence can produce entrepreneurs who contribute to the country's economic growth, which in turn can reduce the tax burden.

For instance

, business people may take large loans from the government, which they repay with high interest rates.

However

, environmental concerns should be comprehensively prioritized in provinces with extremely high populations.

Consider

Wrong verb form

Considering

show examples

the demands of citizens: a larger

population

necessitates the construction of more apartments and facilities, leading to a reduction in green spaces.

As a result

, fewer plants and more people increase CO2 emissions.

Additionally

, resources are being consumed and utilized at an unsustainable rate, which may lead to their depletion in the near future.

Above all

, the drawbacks of an excessive

population

that cannot be accommodated in a given area heavily impact the environment, as it takes considerable time for nature to rejuvenate.

Consequently

, the financial impact cannot be covered solely by taxes from citizens.

For example

, water is a limited and non-renewable resource. If water usage increases within a country, it will eventually face a water shortage. To summarize, I believe that

population

numbers should be balanced to mitigate environmental damage caused by the extensive use of resources.

This

issue cannot be resolved merely by revenue from tariffs.

Submitted by minimix1203 on Sat Jul 27 2024

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task achievement

Though your essay covers both positive and negative aspects of living in mega-cities, it could benefit from a more balanced discussion. Try to devote equal space to both aspects.

task achievement

Some ideas, such as the economic benefits of entrepreneurs and large loans, are somewhat unclear or less directly relevant. Aim to connect them more clearly to living in mega-cities.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are effective, ensure each body paragraph also clearly supports the main argument and includes convincing examples.

coherence cohesion

Make use of transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This helps in building a more cohesive structure and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You effectively highlight the environmental concerns related to mega-cities, which are crucial points to discuss.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion clearly summarizes your stance on the issue, reinforcing your main arguments in a concise manner.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Research shows that increasing numbers of people are now living in mega-cities: cities of more than 20 million inhabitants. Is this a positive or negative development

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Banking and banks. The role of banks in the modern world. Large banks and their functioning. Working with clients. Payment Methods.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Because computers can translate all languages very quickly and accurately, learning a foreign language is a waste of time.