Some people believe that technology has made our lives simpler and more convenient. Others argue that it has made us more isolated and dependent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate
whether
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about whether
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technology
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makes our lives more convenient or if it creates isolation and dependency.
While
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technology
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offers many benefits, I think it
also
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causes problems for human relationships. On
one
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the one
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hand, some
people
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say that
technology
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makes daily tasks much easier.
For example
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, with online banking,
people
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can transfer money and shop without leaving their homes.
This
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saves time and effort.
Also
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,
technology
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help
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helps
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people
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to communicate with each other. Through video calls and messaging apps, it is possible to stay connected with friends and family who are far away. It is especially useful for long-distance relationships and remote work. But, these benefits come with a risk.
People
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have to share personal information online, and
this
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data can be stolen by hackers, which could result in serious issues like identity theft.
On the other hand
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,
people
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who use too much
technology
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may face social and mental problems. Some
people
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spend a lot of time on social media and forget to interact with their family and friends in real life.
This
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is common among young
people
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, who often use social media to seek approval from others.
As a result
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, they can feel anxious or depressed. Many studies show that social media users, especially from Generation Z, feel stressed because of the pressure to keep up with others. Even though
technology
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helps
people
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to stay connected online, it can make them feel lonely in the real world. In conclusion,
although
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technology
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brings convenience and improves communication, it
also
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has serious drawbacks, especially for mental health and social relationships. In my opinion, using too much
technology
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can make
people
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feel isolated and less connected to real life.
Submitted by alifahmad1799 on

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task achievement
Strengthen the support for your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
task achievement
Be sure to maintain a clear position throughout the essay. Your stance is clear, but it could be expressed more assertively in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Consider addressing counterarguments more thoroughly to balance your discussion. This could lend more depth and fairness to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples such as online banking and long-distance relationships to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion.
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