Some people believe that technology has made our lives simpler and more convenient. Others argue that it has made us more isolated and dependent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
technology
makes our lives more convenient or if it creates isolation and dependency. While
technology
offers many benefits, I think it also
causes problems for human relationships.
On one
hand, some Correct article usage
the one
people
say that technology
makes daily tasks much easier. For example
, with online banking, people
can transfer money and shop without leaving their homes. This
saves time and effort. Also
, technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
people
to communicate with each other. Through video calls and messaging apps, it is possible to stay connected with friends and family who are far away. It is especially useful for long-distance relationships and remote work. But, these benefits come with a risk. People
have to share personal information online, and this
data can be stolen by hackers, which could result in serious issues like identity theft.
On the other hand
, people
who use too much technology
may face social and mental problems. Some people
spend a lot of time on social media and forget to interact with their family and friends in real life. This
is common among young people
, who often use social media to seek approval from others. As a result
, they can feel anxious or depressed. Many studies show that social media users, especially from Generation Z, feel stressed because of the pressure to keep up with others. Even though technology
helps people
to stay connected online, it can make them feel lonely in the real world.
In conclusion, although
technology
brings convenience and improves communication, it also
has serious drawbacks, especially for mental health and social relationships. In my opinion, using too much technology
can make people
feel isolated and less connected to real life.Submitted by alifahmad1799 on
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task achievement
Strengthen the support for your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
task achievement
Be sure to maintain a clear position throughout the essay. Your stance is clear, but it could be expressed more assertively in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Consider addressing counterarguments more thoroughly to balance your discussion. This could lend more depth and fairness to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples such as online banking and long-distance relationships to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion.