Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

World-calss

Correct your spelling

World-class

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

are a huge phenomenon. Every four

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

, a

country

Use synonyms

will be chosen to hold the

events

Use synonyms

. Holding the

games

Use synonyms

can greatly

infuence

Correct your spelling

influence

the

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

country's

economy.

While

Linking Words

some people believe that it has negative effects,

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that countries

benfit

Correct your spelling

benefit

from

such

Linking Words

events

Use synonyms

and it is a chance for them to boost

thier

Correct your spelling

their

the

economy. I strongly agree with the second idea and an

indiaction

Correct your spelling

indication

for it can be the

number

Use synonyms

of job opportunities which are created for the people during

Olympic

Use synonyms

in the

holder

Use synonyms

countries and the growth in the

tourisim

Correct your spelling

tourism

indutry

Correct your spelling

industry

. On the one hand,

Use synonyms

Sport

Change the noun form

Sports

show examples

events

Use synonyms

can create a lot of job opportunities.

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

The olympic

show examples

games

Use synonyms

attract a considerable

number

Use synonyms

of visitors to the

Use synonyms

holder

Replace the word

holding

show examples

country

Use synonyms

First,

Linking Words

these

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

need a place to stay and

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

for commuting during the

games

Use synonyms

, so they would reserve a hotel and need cars or

differnt

Correct your spelling

different

kinds of

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, an increase in the

number

Use synonyms

of guests causes the hotels and transportation systems to hire more

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can eventually bring a lot of

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

to work.

Additionally

Linking Words

, providing food for the

games

Use synonyms

audiances

Correct your spelling

audiences

audience

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is another

indiaction

Correct your spelling

indication

for

Change preposition

show examples

a rise in the

number

Use synonyms

of hirings.

Ultimatly

Correct your spelling

Ultimately

, the

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

food industry can

also

Linking Words

benefit from

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

Use synonyms

. So, holding

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

Use synonyms

can

cuase

Correct your spelling

cause

hotels,

transportaion

Correct your spelling

transportation

systems and food industries to hire more staff.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

Use synonyms

can boost the tourism industry. For one thing,

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

from all around the world get to spend days in the

Use synonyms

holder

Replace the word

held

show examples

country

Use synonyms

and they may be interested in having fun and enjoying the

touristic

Replace the word

tourist

show examples

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

of the

country

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, they would like to enjoy historical sites

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or enjoy the natural attractions of the

erea

Correct your spelling

area

era

Also

Linking Words

, a lot of people tend to

purcahse

Correct your spelling

purchase

souveniors

Correct your spelling

souvenirs

for their loved ones or

simpley

Correct your spelling

simply

take back a piece of memory with

themsleves

Correct your spelling

themselves

to their homelands. Eventually,

this

Linking Words

can

improves

Change the verb form

improve

show examples

the

tourisim indutry

Correct your spelling

tourism industry

. In conclusion, holding

games

Use synonyms

can have so many

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

including a decrease in the rate of unemployment and

also

Linking Words

a development in the tourism

indutry

Correct your spelling

industry

. So, I believe, being a

holder

Use synonyms

for the

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

Use synonyms

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

opportunity for

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

TUTOO

Jul 27, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the discussion and provides a clear response to the prompt. However, some ideas need richer development and clearer examples to reach a higher level. Consider elaborating further on how tourism benefits the local economy and giving precise examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay generally follows a logical structure and includes a clear introduction and conclusion, but some paragraphs could be better organized. For instance, ensure each paragraph centers around one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving the accuracy of your vocabulary to make your points clearer. This will also help in making your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay and summing up your arguments.

task achievement

You provided relevant points on job creation and tourism, addressing the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
financial management
economic benefits
global recognition
investment
displacement
legacy
long-term plan
tourism
job creation
essential services
international image
local economy
financial losses
contextual benefits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Mrs Jones, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town , has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs. Barrett. In your letter Suggest how you could help her in her home say why you would like to do this work explain when you will and will not be available
My name is John, full-time student at Brock University. I am writing this letter to hire me for your home.
8
band
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a trend these days for organizations to get a detailed account from employees regarding their personal life including marital status and leisure time activities.Some folks think that such information has nothing to do with the job requirements and may be exploited in a negative way while others believe that this is important for better management and also for the provision of a friendly work environment.This essay will discuss both views and give my opinion that it is essential for employers to know the personal details before designating assignments in order to cater for the requirements of the subordinates.
7.5
band
Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious serious social problem. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?
It is certainly true that the depiction of graphic violence in movies can contribute to social issues. There are several reasons for this concern, including the possibility that viewers, especially fans of actors portraying violence, might be influenced by what they see and the lack of restrictions on underage viewers. Several measures could be taken by societies and governments to improve the situation. These include raising awareness that film violence is acting and not being emulated as well as restricting children's access to inappropriate content.
6
band
in the pAST PEOPLE USED TO LOOK FOR MANY DIFFERENCE FROM THEIR HOME COUNTRY. NOWADAYS CITIES THROUGHOUT THE WORLD ARE BECOMING MORE AN DMORE SIMILAR.WHAT ARE THE REASON. dO THEA ADVENTAGES OUTWEIGHT DISADVENTAGES
Be millennium, people used to travel in order to compare their hometowns with foreign countries. Today they will not be able to do it with the same aim, since monopolies become similar.It is wrong due to the globalization and social networking system. The main disadvantage is that countries are losing their own aesthetic sides at all.
6.5
band
Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.
In some perspectives, individuals benefit from group activities, whilst such events provoke various advantages for the acquisition of intelligence, I could only partially agree with such opinions due to a few drawbacks which will be discussed in the following article.

Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious serious social problem. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

in the pAST PEOPLE USED TO LOOK FOR MANY DIFFERENCE FROM THEIR HOME COUNTRY. NOWADAYS CITIES THROUGHOUT THE WORLD ARE BECOMING MORE AN DMORE SIMILAR.WHAT ARE THE REASON. dO THEA ADVENTAGES OUTWEIGHT DISADVENTAGES

Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.