Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

#people #sports #events #olympic #games #world #cup #opponent

World-calss

Correct your spelling

World-class

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

such

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

are a huge phenomenon. Every four

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

, a

country

will be chosen to hold the

events

. Holding the

games

can greatly

infuence

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influence

the

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

country's

economy.

While

some people believe that it has negative effects,

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that countries

benfit

Correct your spelling

benefit

from

such

events

and it is a chance for them to boost

thier

Correct your spelling

their

the

economy. I strongly agree with the second idea and an

indiaction

Correct your spelling

indication

for it can be the

number

of job opportunities which are created for the people during

Olympic

in the

holder

countries and the growth in the

tourisim

Correct your spelling

tourism

indutry

Correct your spelling

industry

. On the one hand,

Sport

Change the noun form

Sports

show examples

events

can create a lot of job opportunities.

Olympic

Correct article usage

The olympic

show examples

games

attract a considerable

number

of visitors to the

holder

Replace the word

holding

show examples

country

First,

these

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

need a place to stay and

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

for commuting during the

games

, so they would reserve a hotel and need cars or

differnt

Correct your spelling

different

kinds of

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

Then

, an increase in the

number

of guests causes the hotels and transportation systems to hire more

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can eventually bring a lot of

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

to work.

Additionally

, providing food for the

games

audiances

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audiences

audience

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is another

indiaction

Correct your spelling

indication

for

Change preposition

show examples

a rise in the

number

of hirings.

Ultimatly

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Ultimately

, the

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

food industry can

also

benefit from

such

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

. So, holding

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

can

cuase

Correct your spelling

cause

hotels,

transportaion

Correct your spelling

transportation

systems and food industries to hire more staff.

On the other hand

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

can boost the tourism industry. For one thing,

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

from all around the world get to spend days in the

holder

Replace the word

held

show examples

country

and they may be interested in having fun and enjoying the

touristic

Replace the word

tourist

show examples

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

of the

country

For instance

, they would like to enjoy historical sites

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or enjoy the natural attractions of the

erea

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area

era

Also

, a lot of people tend to

purcahse

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purchase

souveniors

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souvenirs

for their loved ones or

simpley

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simply

take back a piece of memory with

themsleves

Correct your spelling

themselves

to their homelands. Eventually,

this

can

improves

Change the verb form

improve

show examples

the

tourisim indutry

Correct your spelling

tourism industry

. In conclusion, holding

games

can have so many

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

including a decrease in the rate of unemployment and

also

a development in the tourism

indutry

Correct your spelling

industry

. So, I believe, being a

holder

for the

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

opportunity for

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

Submitted by TUTOO on Sat Jul 27 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the discussion and provides a clear response to the prompt. However, some ideas need richer development and clearer examples to reach a higher level. Consider elaborating further on how tourism benefits the local economy and giving precise examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay generally follows a logical structure and includes a clear introduction and conclusion, but some paragraphs could be better organized. For instance, ensure each paragraph centers around one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving the accuracy of your vocabulary to make your points clearer. This will also help in making your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay and summing up your arguments.

task achievement

You provided relevant points on job creation and tourism, addressing the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

361 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.

Some people believe that environmental problems are too big for individuals ro deal with, while other think that individual should take some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge negative atibe impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree.

Advantages and disadvantages using internet in the modern era