Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

#people #sports #events #olympic #games #world #cup #opponent

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World-calss

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World-class

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sport

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sports

show examples

events

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such

Linking Words

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

are a huge phenomenon. Every four

year

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years

show examples

, a

country

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will be chosen to hold the

events

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. Holding the

games

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can greatly

infuence

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influence

the

coutries

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countries

country's

economy.

While

Linking Words

some people believe that it has negative effects,

other

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others

show examples

think that countries

benfit

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benefit

from

such

Linking Words

events

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and it is a chance for them to boost

thier

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their

the

economy. I strongly agree with the second idea and an

indiaction

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indication

for it can be the

number

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of job opportunities which are created for the people during

Olympic

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in the

holder

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countries and the growth in the

tourisim

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tourism

indutry

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industry

. On the one hand,

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Sport

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Sports

show examples

events

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can create a lot of job opportunities.

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Olympic

Correct article usage

The olympic

show examples

games

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attract a considerable

number

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of visitors to the

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holder

Replace the word

holding

show examples

country

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First,

Linking Words

these

poeple

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people

need a place to stay and

transportations

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transportation

show examples

for commuting during the

games

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, so they would reserve a hotel and need cars or

differnt

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different

kinds of

transportations

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transportation

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, an increase in the

number

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of guests causes the hotels and transportation systems to hire more

staffs

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staff

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that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can eventually bring a lot of

poeple

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people

to work.

Additionally

Linking Words

, providing food for the

games

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audiances

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audiences

audience

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apply

show examples

is another

indiaction

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indication

for

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show examples

a rise in the

number

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of hirings.

Ultimatly

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Ultimately

, the

countries

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country's

show examples

food industry can

also

Linking Words

benefit from

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport

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sports

show examples

events

Use synonyms

. So, holding

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Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

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can

cuase

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cause

hotels,

transportaion

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transportation

systems and food industries to hire more staff.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Olympic

Correct article usage

the Olympic

show examples

games

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can boost the tourism industry. For one thing,

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

from all around the world get to spend days in the

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holder

Replace the word

held

show examples

country

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and they may be interested in having fun and enjoying the

touristic

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tourist

show examples

attraction

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attractions

show examples

of the

country

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For instance

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, they would like to enjoy historical sites

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apply

show examples

or enjoy the natural attractions of the

erea

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area

era

Also

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, a lot of people tend to

purcahse

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purchase

souveniors

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souvenirs

for their loved ones or

simpley

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simply

take back a piece of memory with

themsleves

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themselves

to their homelands. Eventually,

this

Linking Words

can

improves

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improve

show examples

the

tourisim indutry

Correct your spelling

tourism industry

. In conclusion, holding

games

Use synonyms

can have so many

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

including a decrease in the rate of unemployment and

also

Linking Words

a development in the tourism

indutry

Correct your spelling

industry

. So, I believe, being a

holder

Use synonyms

for the

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events

Use synonyms

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

opportunity for

coutries

Correct your spelling

countries

Submitted by TUTOO on Sat Jul 27 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the discussion and provides a clear response to the prompt. However, some ideas need richer development and clearer examples to reach a higher level. Consider elaborating further on how tourism benefits the local economy and giving precise examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay generally follows a logical structure and includes a clear introduction and conclusion, but some paragraphs could be better organized. For instance, ensure each paragraph centers around one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving the accuracy of your vocabulary to make your points clearer. This will also help in making your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay and summing up your arguments.

task achievement

You provided relevant points on job creation and tourism, addressing the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
financial management
economic benefits
global recognition
investment
displacement
legacy
long-term plan
tourism
job creation
essential services
international image
local economy
financial losses
contextual benefits

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Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh this disadvantages.

A friend has written to you asking for some advice about a problem with work. you have had a problem like this before. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter; - show that you understand the problem - explain how your situation was similer - suggest a solution to your friend's problem

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economis development,but many important social values can be lost as a result . Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages ?

The plan shows the design of a community centre 10 years ago and now.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree?