IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. You have seen a job advertised in the newspaper. You want to apply for the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter • provide information about yourself • give details of your previous work experience • say why the company should consider you for the job You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear …,

#minutes #job #newspaper #manager #company #information #work #addresses
Dear Sir, I am writing to express my strong interest in volunteering at your hospital during my upcoming 6-week vacation starting on August 1st. As an undergraduate student majoring in Child Care, I am eager to gain practical experience in a real-world setting and contribute to the well-being of patients at your esteemed hospital. Having completed a comprehensive 4-month personal support worker course, including hands-on training at Central Hospital, I have acquired the necessary skills to assist both newborns and the elderly. My passion for helping others and my proximity to the hospital, living just 5 miles away, makes me available and committed to responding to any urgent needs.
Although
 I am unable to start on the exact recruitment date of August 3rd, I am fully available for any shifts
thereafter
. I believe that my dedication, skills, and enthusiasm make me a valuable addition to your team. I hope for the chance to
further
 discuss potential volunteer opportunities at your hospital and eagerly await your response. Kind regards,
Submitted by parminderbitti3 on

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task achievement
While your letter is structured well and flows logically, it would be beneficial to provide more specific information about the job you're applying for. This will ensure that your letter directly addresses the job requirements and demonstrates your suitability more clearly.
task achievement
Your points related to previous work experience and reasons why the company should consider you for the job are well-articulated. However, make sure to link your skills and experiences more explicitly to the job’s requirements for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-organized with each paragraph focusing on a single idea, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and professional, which is appropriate for the context of applying for a job.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively shared relevant personal information, previous work experience, and willingness to contribute, which enhances your application.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertised position
  • relevant experience
  • qualifications
  • skill set
  • responsibilities
  • achievements
  • enthusiastic
  • aligned with the company values
  • previous roles
  • milestones
  • candidate
  • apply for the job
  • work experience
  • consider for the position
  • interview
  • current role
  • demonstrated expertise
  • strong interest
  • suitable for the job
What to do next:
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