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Writing Samples /
Band 7

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #money #tax
The benefits of paying
taxes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been a relevant issue in our society. The
people
 believe that they are not getting their money's worth considering the state of our country and that paying
taxes
 should be stopped. I disagree because I believe that the proper allocation of our
taxes
 would improve the quality of life of our community and terminating
this
 system would bring about chaos.
Taxes
 cost a significant amount of our salaries.
This
 deduction is felt more by those in the middle to lower class.
Although
 the cost is significant, the programs and benefits that these
taxes
 fund are advantageous
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 those involving health and retirement.
Moreover
, these
taxes
 support the maintenance and operations of facilities that we use daily
such
 as roads, parks, and schools.
Furthermore
, it does not only help the working class but
also
 those who are unfortunate
such
 as the oppressed and homeless to build a life and get out of poverty.
However
, these advantages are hardly implemented. Facilities are not managed well, not enough programs are launched to help those in poverty, and more importantly, health benefits offered today are not enough to ensure the well-being of the community. These lapses led to the poor education, health, and financial status of our community.
In addition
, the government keeps on increasing our
taxes
 yet they are not delivering satisfactory results.
This
 is the reason why
people
 are enraged and demand that they keep their money rather than pay
taxes
. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that we should stop paying
taxes
. Rather than that, the government should manage the
people
's
taxes
 with integrity and should allocate it justly so that the
people
 do not feel cheated out of their money.
Submitted by erickacasandra.abas on

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task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task with well-structured arguments. However, try to include more specific examples to enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear connections between ideas, but ensure transitions between paragraphs are more varied to maintain reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is effective in setting the context for the discussion, and the conclusion provides a strong summary of your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay presents ideas clearly, with comprehensive coverage of the topic's arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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