Write about the following topic. It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Travel
new place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
people
experience new places and cultures, can
enhance their perspective. I strongly agree with the notion that Correct pronoun usage
which can
said
"Verb problem
apply
travel
broadens the mind", because visit
new Wrong verb form
visiting
place
can contribute Fix the agreement mistake
places
my
personal growth, Change preposition
to my
survival
Correct word choice
and survival
skill
and enhance my knowledge.
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Firstly
, travel
new
Change preposition
to new
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
people
will get the
exposure Correct article usage
apply
with
new Change preposition
to
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
lifestyle
from local Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
people
. When people
engage with new
environment, they discover new Add an article
the new
a new
languange
, social norms and traditions. Correct your spelling
language
This
kind of experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
make
Change the verb form
makes
people
more respect
Replace the word
respectful
with
Change preposition
of
the
Change the word
their
difference
, tolerance and empathy.
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
Secondly
, being away from comfort
zone, allow Add an article
the comfort
a comfort
individual
to Add an article
an individual
the individual
reflects
their on lives and values. Solo Wrong verb form
reflect
travel
, in particular
, can be transformative
journey for Add an article
a transformative
people
. As it often leads to improve
self-confidence and independence. Wrong verb form
improved
Traveler
often face Change the spelling
Traveller
difference
or unusual situations in their everyday life, they tend to have more flexibility, Replace the word
different
can
adapt Correct word choice
and can
with
new Change preposition
to
place
easily. And train their brain to think creatively. Indeed, Fix the agreement mistake
places
this
kind Change preposition
of experiences
experiences
will impact how they think.
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
Lastly
, travel
offer
educational opportunities that go beyond Change the verb form
offers
traveler's
daily activities or their home based. Change the spelling
traveller's
For instance
visiting historical place
, Fix the agreement mistake
places
museum
, Fix the agreement mistake
museums
natural
Correct word choice
and natural
view
. It Fix the agreement mistake
views
help
Change the verb form
helps
people
to improve their knowledge in
history, geography and science. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, travel
encourage
adaptability and Change the verb form
encourages
problem solving-skill
. Correct your spelling
problem-solving skills
Unfamilir
environment, especially Correct article usage
An unfamilir
Correct article usage
a languange
languange
barrierCorrect your spelling
language
is exist
Wrong verb form
,
require
flexibility and adjustment.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
travel
undeniably broaden
the mind by promoting cultural awareness, adaptability, knowledge enhancement and personal growth. The diverse Correct subject-verb agreement
broadens
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
might
encountered during travelling contribute to have understanding Verb problem
apply
about
the world, it Change preposition
of
makes
Verb problem
gives
people
have sense of respect and appreciation with
Change preposition
for
difference cultural
and Replace the word
different cultures
lifestyle
.Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that supporting details are directly related to that idea. This will help in enhancing the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. Examples from personal experiences or universally known facts can strengthen your argument.
grammar
There are some grammatical and spelling errors in the essay. Proofreading your work carefully or using grammar-checking tools can help in rectifying these errors.
clarity
Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased. Try to simplify your language for better clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your stance on the topic, providing a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
The essay covers a breadth of points on how travel broadens the mind, addressing different aspects such as cultural exposure, self-reflection, and educational opportunities.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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