It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Travel

Use synonyms

new

Use synonyms

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

people

Use synonyms

experience new places and cultures,

can

Correct pronoun usage

which can

show examples

enhance their perspective. I strongly agree with the notion that

said

Verb problem

apply

show examples

travel

Use synonyms

broadens the mind", because

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

new

Use synonyms

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

can contribute

Change preposition

to my

show examples

personal growth,

survival

Correct word choice

and survival

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and enhance my knowledge.

Firstly

Linking Words

travel

Use synonyms

new

Change preposition

to new

show examples

Use synonyms

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exposure

with

Change preposition

show examples

new

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

and

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

from local

people

Use synonyms

. When

people

Use synonyms

engage with

new

Add an article

the new

a new

show examples

environment, they discover new

languange

Correct your spelling

language

, social norms and traditions.

This

Linking Words

kind of

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

people

Use synonyms

respect

Replace the word

respectful

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

, tolerance and empathy.

Secondly

Linking Words

, being away from

comfort

Add an article

the comfort

a comfort

show examples

zone, allow

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

reflects

Wrong verb form

reflect

show examples

their on lives and values. Solo

travel

Use synonyms

in particular

Linking Words

, can be

transformative

Add an article

a transformative

show examples

journey for

people

Use synonyms

. As it often leads to

improve

Wrong verb form

improved

show examples

self-confidence and independence.

Traveler

Change the spelling

Traveller

show examples

often face

difference

Replace the word

different

show examples

or unusual situations in their everyday life, they tend to have more flexibility,

can

Correct word choice

and can

show examples

adapt

with

Change preposition

show examples

new

Use synonyms

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

easily. And train their brain to think creatively. Indeed,

this

Linking Words

kind

Change preposition

of experiences

show examples

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

will impact how they think.

Lastly

Linking Words

travel

Use synonyms

offer

Change the verb form

offers

show examples

educational opportunities that go beyond

traveler's

Change the spelling

traveller's

show examples

daily activities or their home based.

For instance

Linking Words

visiting historical

Use synonyms

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

natural

Correct word choice

and natural

show examples

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

. It

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to improve their knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

history, geography and science.

Moreover

Linking Words

travel

Use synonyms

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

adaptability and

problem solving-skill

Correct your spelling

problem-solving skills

show examples

Unfamilir

Correct article usage

An unfamilir

show examples

environment, especially

Correct article usage

a languange

show examples

languange

Correct your spelling

language

barrier

is exist

Wrong verb form

show examples

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

flexibility and adjustment. In conclusion,

travel

Use synonyms

undeniably

broaden

Correct subject-verb agreement

broadens

show examples

the mind by promoting cultural awareness, adaptability, knowledge enhancement and personal growth. The diverse

challenge

Fix the agreement mistake

challenges

show examples

might

Verb problem

apply

show examples

encountered during travelling contribute to have understanding

about

Change preposition

show examples

the world, it

makes

Verb problem

gives

show examples

people

Use synonyms

have sense of respect and appreciation

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

difference cultural

Replace the word

different cultures

show examples

and

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

desimardianti0590Sun Jul 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that supporting details are directly related to that idea. This will help in enhancing the logical structure of the essay.

task achievement

Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. Examples from personal experiences or universally known facts can strengthen your argument.

grammar

There are some grammatical and spelling errors in the essay. Proofreading your work carefully or using grammar-checking tools can help in rectifying these errors.

clarity

Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased. Try to simplify your language for better clarity and readability.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states your stance on the topic, providing a clear direction for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing your argument.

task achievement

The essay covers a breadth of points on how travel broadens the mind, addressing different aspects such as cultural exposure, self-reflection, and educational opportunities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

256 words

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It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

On a recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter explain the you lost • tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

Some people think that language should be taught in small classes, while other people think the number of students in a language class does not matter. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?