Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban area centers. Do you think the advantaged outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, a lot of
companies
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, primarily the bigger ones, have decided to
move
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their operations to the outer area, which is more extensive, to decrease their operational fee. I agree with
this
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company's
move
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,
although
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it will spend more money to
move
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its assets. I will explain the advantages and one disadvantage. First of all, to sustain their business, moving outside the cities will be the best way. It will be flexible to expand the operation without spending vast amounts of money.
For example
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, apple moved their factory to the village
due to
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the lower operational fee and caused various products with cheaper prices.
As a result
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, Apple gains extra income from building new products.
Furthermore
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, it will be easier to improve the
companies
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, mainly for product research. Expanding areas of the factory will be possible without any issues with local people. With the movement, apple added new areas of the factory to make it easier to research
Although
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the decision to
move
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outside the cities is a good choice, it will impact the workers. They will go late to the office because the distance was added and made more overdue to them. The workers should
move
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their homes to the nearest area. The bigger impact of
this
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issue is the demonstration to increase their salary. It should be calculated in detail by the
companies
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to avoid negative issues for workers.
Overall
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, I would say that moving outside the cities will be a better option for the
companies
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for their
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
operation

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Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear argument but would benefit from a more balanced examination of both advantages and disadvantages. Expand on the advantages or include more examples to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay by using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This can help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that you use correct grammar and syntax throughout your writing. There are some grammatical inaccuracies that could affect clarity, so reviewing your grammar would be beneficial.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's perspective on the issue.
Task Achievement
Use of specific examples, like Apple, adds relevance to the discussion and engages the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Balanced regional development
  • Overconcentration
  • Housing affordability
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Infrastructure
  • Environmental benefits
  • Skilled labor
  • Logistics
  • Operational efficiency
  • Urban sprawl
  • Ecosystems
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