“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#“some #people #exercise #health #diet

Whilst, some people and I say that the best way to keep fit, is to do

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

, others argue that following a balanced diet has

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

beneficial impact on

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

health

. Both views will be

exmined

Correct your spelling

examined

and explained in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, any kind of sport can

posetively

Correct your spelling

positively

affect

human's

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human

show examples

health

, because the process of

workout

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working out

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burns fat, develops lunges,

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

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muscles and even can help to get rid of some mental illnesses.

Moreover

, the result of fitness can be seen after some weeks, so

individual

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individuals

show examples

may get motivation to keep going and fully improve their

health

For example

according to

a recent study, almost all gym visitors

begins

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begin

show examples

to exercise regularly after

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

period of time when the result of

workout

Correct article usage

the workout

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occurs visually.

Hence

Remove the article

apply

show examples

physical education is the best method to improve

health

due to

the

health

advantages which

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

can gain and fast positive results that

motivates

Correct subject-verb agreement

motivate

show examples

individual

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individuals

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to not quit

this

hobby.

Nevertheless

, having a diet

also

can develop

humans

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human

show examples

health

, by

preventig

Correct your spelling

preventing

a person from obesity and problems with organs.

In other words

well balanced

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well-balanced

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nutrition limits calories and gives relevant minerals, so

individual

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individuals

show examples

may not worry about

Add a missing verb

being overwight

show examples

overwight

Correct your spelling

overweight

and issues with their organism,

such

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apply

show examples

bad skin or slow metabolism. To illustrate,

recent

Correct article usage

a recent

show examples

study illustrates that a significant number of people who

suffrs

Correct your spelling

suffers

suffer

from obesity or other issues are likely to eat not balanced meals.

To conclude

, it is obvious that keeping a diet can influence

health

, by healthy nutrients and balanced food.

However

, a sport

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

faster results, since it helps to burn calories more effectively than losing them

Change preposition

show examples

limitations.

Submitted by hhaha9102 on Sun Jul 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a complete response to the task, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a conclusion with your opinion. However, to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness, consider elaborating further on each point and including more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the structuring of your paragraphs to ensure logical flow. While the essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, some points could be connected more smoothly. Transition words and phrases can help in connecting ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

There are several spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'lunges' should be 'lungs', 'posetively' should be 'positively', 'exmined' should be 'examined'). Proofreading your work can help minimize these errors and improve the overall quality of your writing.

task achievement

You clearly state both perspectives on the topic and provide your opinion, which is essential for a successful task response.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly outline the topic and your final stance.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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