IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Whilst, some people and I say that the best way to keep fit, is to do
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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, others argue that following a balanced diet has
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 beneficial impact on
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
. Both views will be
exmined
Correct your spelling
examined
 and explained in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, any kind of sport can
posetively
Correct your spelling
positively
 affect
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
Use synonyms
, because the process of
workout
Correct your spelling
working out
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 burns fat, develops lunges,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 muscles and even can help to get rid of some mental illnesses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the result of fitness can be seen after some weeks, so
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 may get motivation to keep going and fully improve their
health
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a recent study, almost all gym visitors
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
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to exercise regularly after
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 period of time when the result of
workout
Correct article usage
the workout
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 occurs visually.
Hence
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,
a
Remove the article
apply
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physical education is the best method to improve
health
Use synonyms
,
due to
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 the
health
Use synonyms
 advantages which
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 can gain and fast positive results that
motivates
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to not quit
this
Linking Words
 hobby.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, having a diet
also
Linking Words
 can develop
humans
Change the noun form
human
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health
Use synonyms
, by
preventig
Correct your spelling
preventing
 a person from obesity and problems with organs.
In other words
Linking Words
,
well balanced
Add a hyphen
well-balanced
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 nutrition limits calories and gives relevant minerals, so
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 may not worry about
Add a missing verb
being overwight
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overwight
Correct your spelling
overweight
 and issues with their organism,
such
Linking Words
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad skin or slow metabolism. To illustrate,
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 study illustrates that a significant number of people who
suffrs
Correct your spelling
suffers
suffer
 from obesity or other issues are likely to eat not balanced meals.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is obvious that keeping a diet can influence
health
Use synonyms
, by healthy nutrients and balanced food.
However
Linking Words
, a sport
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
faster results, since it helps to burn calories more effectively than losing them
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 limitations.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the task, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a conclusion with your opinion. However, to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness, consider elaborating further on each point and including more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the structuring of your paragraphs to ensure logical flow. While the essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, some points could be connected more smoothly. Transition words and phrases can help in connecting ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
There are several spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'lunges' should be 'lungs', 'posetively' should be 'positively', 'exmined' should be 'examined'). Proofreading your work can help minimize these errors and improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You clearly state both perspectives on the topic and provide your opinion, which is essential for a successful task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly outline the topic and your final stance.
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