“Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Whilst, some people and I say that the best way to keep fit, is to do
exercises
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exercise
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, others argue that following a balanced diet has
more
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a more
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beneficial impact on
individual's
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an individual's
show examples
health
. Both views will be
exmined
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examined
and explained in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, any kind of sport can
posetively
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positively
affect
human's
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human
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health
, because the process of
workout
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working out
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burns fat, develops lunges,
make
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makes
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muscles and even can help to get rid of some mental illnesses.
Moreover
, the result of fitness can be seen after some weeks, so
individual
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individuals
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may get motivation to keep going and fully improve their
health
.
For example
,
according to
a recent study, almost all gym visitors
begins
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begin
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to exercise regularly after
certain
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a certain
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period of time when the result of
workout
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the workout
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occurs visually.
Hence
,
a
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apply
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physical education is the best method to improve
health
,
due to
the
health
advantages which
person
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a person
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can gain and fast positive results that
motivates
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motivate
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individual
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individuals
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to not quit
this
hobby.
Nevertheless
, having a diet
also
can develop
humans
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human
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health
, by
preventig
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preventing
a person from obesity and problems with organs.
In other words
,
well balanced
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well-balanced
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nutrition limits calories and gives relevant minerals, so
individual
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individuals
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may not worry about
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being overwight
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overwight
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overweight
and issues with their organism,
such
as
a
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apply
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bad skin or slow metabolism. To illustrate,
recent
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a recent
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study illustrates that a significant number of people who
suffrs
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suffers
suffer
from obesity or other issues are likely to eat not balanced meals.
To conclude
, it is obvious that keeping a diet can influence
health
, by healthy nutrients and balanced food.
However
, a sport
have
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has
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a
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apply
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faster results, since it helps to burn calories more effectively than losing them
by
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to
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limitations.
Submitted by hhaha9102 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the task, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a conclusion with your opinion. However, to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness, consider elaborating further on each point and including more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the structuring of your paragraphs to ensure logical flow. While the essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, some points could be connected more smoothly. Transition words and phrases can help in connecting ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
There are several spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'lunges' should be 'lungs', 'posetively' should be 'positively', 'exmined' should be 'examined'). Proofreading your work can help minimize these errors and improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You clearly state both perspectives on the topic and provide your opinion, which is essential for a successful task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly outline the topic and your final stance.
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