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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #variety #food #world
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In
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
,people have
access
Use synonyms
 to diversified
food
Use synonyms
 like crops, fruits and
vegetables
Use synonyms
, which are produced in other parts of the world. It has numerous benefits for
populace
Correct article usage
the populace
show examples
like
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of exotic
food
Use synonyms
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 to consume, promotes
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 health of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
, and
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
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general
Add an article
the general
show examples
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it promotes pollution as it
transported
Add a missing verb
is transported
show examples
 by
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
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 which increases carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 and
farming
Add an article
the farming
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 industry produces crops for only import and local people can not consume those products.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Countries
Use synonyms
 which
imports
Correct subject-verb agreement
import
show examples
 exotic and rare fruits,
Use synonyms
vegetables
Correct word choice
and vegetables
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 to consume for
global
Add an article
the global
a global
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 population. People have
access
Use synonyms
 to
highly
Add an article
a highly
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 nutritional variety of
food
Use synonyms
 to eat which keeps them healthy.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 In The US, mangos are imported from
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 in
summer
Add an article
the summer
show examples
 season. Many
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
citizen
Change to a plural noun
citizens
show examples
 have a chance to eat mangos. It
also
Linking Words
 provides nutritional value to consumers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 economy of exporter
countries
Use synonyms
 and
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 substantial income to farmers. By exporting exotic
food
Use synonyms
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 they earn a decent amount of money to take care of their families. It
also
Linking Words
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 economy of exporting
countries
Use synonyms
.To illustrate Many asian
countries
Use synonyms
 like
vietnam
Change the capitalization
Vietnam
show examples
,
India
Correct word choice
and India
show examples
 exports fresh
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 to the
middle
Capitalize word
Middle
show examples
 east
countries
Use synonyms
 which provides
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 source of income for them.
However
Linking Words
, there are certain
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 too, like it promotes air pollution and
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 population is deprived of
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 products.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
exporting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
vegetables
Use synonyms
,
crops
Correct word choice
and crops
show examples
 are
done
Verb problem
exported
show examples
 through
Air planes
Correct your spelling
Aeroplanes
show examples
 which emit carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 and contaminate
Air
Correct article usage
the Air
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, exporter do not sell their produce in local markets which deprives
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 public of healthier
foods meal
Fix the agreement mistake
food meals
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, In
dubai
Change the capitalization
Dubai
show examples
,
vegetables
Use synonyms
 are exported from India which
prompt
Correct subject-verb agreement
prompts
show examples
exporter
Fix the agreement mistake
exporters
show examples
 to sell entire produce to export in order to earn more money. In conclusion, Few
countries
Use synonyms
 are enjoying the benefits of having
access
Use synonyms
 to
food
Use synonyms
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 from other
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 across the globe.
Whereas
Linking Words
 exporting
countries
Use synonyms
 have to compromise with
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produce. The advantages of having
access
Use synonyms
 to
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 products outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by yash334 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents a clear stance on the issue. However, try to frame your introduction and conclusion more precisely. The opening sentence has a few grammatical issues. It could be rephrased to be clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the body paragraphs can benefit from a better use of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Try to avoid repetition and keep the flow coherent.
coherence cohesion
In your essay, there are small grammatical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes, such as 'populace' instead of 'population' and 'air planes' instead of 'airplanes.' Pay more attention to correct usage to enhance clarity and readability.
content
Your essay successfully discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of importing food. You clearly present examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and offer insightful points regarding both the positive and negative aspects of the issue. Your examples, like the one about mangoes in the US, are relevant and make your essay more engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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