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Band 7

Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion on the topic.

#people #media #drug #lots #time #connectivity #world #topic
There is no denying the fact that Some individuals believe that the online trend is a deep dive into addiction that has left many people loss of their precious time.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that social publishing is linked with the world, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that social publishing is a weapon used today for many reasons.
This
 essay will discuss my opinion
along with
 relevant examples and a logical conclusion.
To begin
 with, nowadays, social publishing has a significant impact on mankind.
Although
 there are massive privileges.
Such
 as communication with each other across the world,
also
 in current days books and educational materials are available online and everyone can take advantage of reading from it using it online through Facebook, zoom google Meetings etc,
For instance
, during the incident of COVID-19 the world has changed the way of education.
While
 most pupils faced difficulty in learning online classes.
On the other hand
, technology has become advanced and made the community's lives easier.
Moreover
, folk get to know each other through online apps. In ancestor's days sending a message required years to arrive,
nevertheless
, lack of technology. In Mental issues, there are many side effects
as a result
 of being a home buddy a person who enjoys staying at home prefers to do extracurricular activities and spend time with family and friends doing outdoor sports. Social news is a huge platform for those who seek new opportunities, despite some nations threatening businessmen and traders with stealing their personal information. In a nutshell, despite people having different views believe that the public can't live without social media since it takes away our time. Social media has a Gigantic network around the entire globe. There are fickle-minded people who use social media in a positive or negative way.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good foundation, but it can be tightened up to improve clarity and coherence. Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Although you have addressed both sides of the argument, make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points effectively. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Avoid repeated phrases or redundant information, as it can detract from the overall impact of your essay. Strive for concise and varied sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both perspectives on social media, which is crucial for a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay and guide the reader through your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychological addiction
  • mental health
  • curated images
  • self-esteem
  • instant communication
  • geographic location
  • information dissemination
  • professional networking
  • responsible use
  • negative consequences
  • time wastage
  • productivity
  • social comparison
  • social movements
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