In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #university #situation

this

day and age, the young generation in some nations prefer to be an apprentice rather than studying in the university. I am in favour of

this

trend because

this

allows/avails

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

to pick up professional skills from the workplace and

also

they can have less financial burden by getting paid.

Firstly

people

can learn faster as they are involved in the working surroundings.

For example

, the best way to learn cookery is to work in a professional kitchen and see how experienced chefs deal with and cook ingredients.

Likewise

, if

people

want to be automobile mechanics, the more they practice on a real vehicle, the more familiar they can be with the structure and parts of a car.

This

can help them to accumulate hands-on experiences and be ready for their profession in the future.

Secondly

, it is a financially wise option to learn from work. Getting an

education

from working-based training is cheaper than universities.

Besides

people

get paid

while

they are in apprenticeship,

this

can be income for their living.

Moreover

, they earn money after they accomplish the apprenticeship, they can utilize the money for

further

education

or acquire a second speciality.

This

is not only economical but

also

affordable for

people

to pave their way for

education

. Some

people

may argue that the

education

in the university is more thorough than working-based training.

Nonetheless

, the majority of

people

still focus on one profession after they graduate from the university. In conclusion,

this

not only aids

people

to learn pragmatically but

also

relieves financial pressure for them. I reckon that

this

is a win-win situation for

people

who choose working-based training.

Submitted by wendy190427 on Sun Sep 01 2024

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introduction

Consider refining your introduction to be more engaging. Start by talking about the overall trend or context before stating your opinion. This can grab the reader's attention more effectively.

clear comprehensive ideas

Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct arguments. Each paragraph should start with a strong topic sentence that summarizes the main point.

relevant specific examples

Though your examples are relevant, try to include a wider variety of examples. This would show the range of your knowledge and provide stronger support for your arguments.

logical structure

Your essay is well-structured and the argument is clear. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, which aids readability.

supported main points

You provide specific examples to support your main points, making your arguments more convincing.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a strong final statement, reinforcing your perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

skill shortages
transition
practical skills
hands-on experience
tailored
job satisfaction
financial burden
earn while you learn
long-term career advancement
academic education
critical thinking skills
perceived social status
labor market
flexibility
adaptability

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one better?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why is this happened? How this can be solved?

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+