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Writing Samples
Band 5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad? Try to do this under exam conditions — try to avoid looking at any notes you've made while studying this section.

#country #study #exam #conditions #notes #ve #section
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Getting out of their own motherland to work or study is pretty popular among people nowadays.
While
 it is difficult to keep up with the country's culture, it is a nice experience to live through which impacts
on
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apply
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you positively. First of all, it might take some time
to
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for
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 an individual to learn about something that his state does not have. Mostly it's the country's traditions.
More
Correct article usage
The more
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 you live abroad,
more
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the more
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 you know about social norms around the world which
makes
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make
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 your etiquette super handsome.
For instance
, in the Western areas, being on time
on
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for
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 any event is very important to show your seriousness about your time, but a human being from South America can struggle to get used to
this
 rule because
Latinos'
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Latinos
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 culture says that whenever you come late to any occasion, it shows that you respect other people's efforts to
this
 activity.
Nevertheless
, despite these difficulties,
leaving
Verb problem
living
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 outside of your country can give you so much opportunities. You can boost your English or local language knowledge by talking to people, you can taste
national
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the national
a national
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 dish and etc.
However
, the main thing is you can study there with a better education system and create your career.
For example
, a founder of a company called NasDaily, Nuseir Yassin was born in a small village in Israel and after his
adolscence
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adolescence
 he applied to Harvard in
USA
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the USA
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, where he started
the
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a
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 business which will turn out to be multimillion dollars worth. In conclusion, manners of a different land can be hard to accept but the prospects of it are way too heavy to decline.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad. However, some points are not fully developed, and there is room to enhance the clarity and depth of your analysis. Focus on elaborating your points more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is fairly good, with distinct paragraphs. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Work on creating more cohesive links between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are effective, there is room for improvement. Ensure your introduction clearly outlines what will be discussed, and reinforce your main points succinctly in the conclusion. Adding a brief summary of your main points in the conclusion can help wrap up your essay nicely.
coherence cohesion
Your essay begins with an engaging introduction and concludes with a clear summary of your arguments. This helps the reader understand the scope of your essay from the outset and provides a strong finish.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments and makes them more convincing. For instance, the example of Nuseir Yassin adds value to your discussion on opportunities abroad.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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