IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the year 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie-chart shows reasons for migration in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the year 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie-chart shows reasons for migration in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two figures illustrate the period and reasons the immigrants lived in the United Kingdom from 2000 until 2008.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 most of the people spend up to 2
years
Use synonyms
 there.
Also
Linking Words
, the main reason was for work.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, the majority of immigrants spent close to two
years
Use synonyms
 in the UK from the year 2001 until 2008.
In addition
Linking Words
, around 150 lived for four or more
years
Use synonyms
 and the line was steady from the year 2000 till 2008.
Finally
Linking Words
, the lowest number of them spent about two to four
years
Use synonyms
 but the number of those people was
also
Linking Words
 the lowest where they accounted for almost 50 people.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the pie chart explained the reasons behind their staying in the year 2008.
Moreover
Linking Words
, work and study were the top reasons where they scored more than 30% of the rest.
Next,
Linking Words
joining their families comes next in percentage accounting for 16%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Others and non-reasons were the smallest proportion at about 7%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immigrate
  • emigrate
  • migration
  • immigrant
  • intended length of stay
  • short-term stay
  • long-term stay
  • trends
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • primary reasons
  • comparative analysis
  • contributing factors
  • data interpretation
  • work-related migration
  • study-related migration
  • family reunification
  • asylum seeking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: