Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions #h

some

people

have different

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that sports involving dangourges like as boxing

matrial

Correct your spelling

martial

material

arts,should be removed from

and from international sporting competition.

Correct your spelling

I completely

Icompletely

Correct your spelling

I completely

a gree

Correct your spelling

agree

show examples

that

Correct your spelling

sport

sort

soprt

Verb problem

apply

show examples

very

dangourse

Correct your spelling

dangers

linked to

harm

Wrong verb form

harming

show examples

the body

it is clear that

people

wached

Correct your spelling

watched

the

harm

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

exercise or

tranied

Correct your spelling

tried

Change preposition

show examples

that will

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

them bady becuase some

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

can not sleep and

effect

them sycolgical when see

somthing

Correct your spelling

something

like that

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

women.

On the other hand

, when

alwayes

Correct your spelling

always

see

Wrong verb form

seeing

show examples

harm

which

is make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

agressive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

person with others.

Furthermore

,the person

view

Wrong verb form

viewing

show examples

the violence

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

alwayes

Correct your spelling

always

that

maby liyding

Correct your spelling

maybe leading

him to

crim

Correct your spelling

crime

show examples

in the future.

However

,some

people

when

view

Replace the word

viewing

show examples

Correct article usage

a compition

show examples

compition

Correct your spelling

competition

in boxing man

harm

another man and see the blood

besides

,they

liyding

Correct your spelling

leading

lying

to break the leg bone, hand and facial.

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

maby

Correct your spelling

maybe

they will do the same and

harm

people

when they are

angery

Correct your spelling

angry

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

them badly and

heating

Wrong verb form

heat

show examples

the sport.

Also

, may

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cause

dzziness

Correct your spelling

dizziness

and

drawsy

Correct your spelling

drowsy

draws

Secondly

,men do

exersise

Correct your spelling

exercise

like boxing or

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

soprts

Correct your spelling

sports

violence that will

leyiding

Correct your spelling

leading

him

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

harm

him self

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

otheres

Correct your spelling

others

which

liyding

Correct your spelling

leading

to the

admmiting

Correct your spelling

admitting

to the hospital.

To sum up

explined

Correct your spelling

explained

in the above how is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

sports should

removed

Change the verb form

be removed

show examples

from

and

internationl

Correct your spelling

international

competitions.that will

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

harmily

Correct your spelling

family

in the body.

Submitted by alkhaldijojo80 on Sun Jul 28 2024

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task achievement

Work on your introduction to clearly present your view from the beginning. This helps the reader understand your position better.

coherence cohesion

Structure your paragraphs properly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea to improve coherence.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Revise your essay for grammatical and spelling errors. Clearer language will improve comprehension and effectiveness.

task achievement

You have addressed the question fully, showing your awareness of the topic's complexity.

coherence cohesion

A conclusion is present, summarizing your viewpoint, which is important for tying your essay together.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

201 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

Your opinion

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