IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out abour the history about house or building they live in. What are reason for this? how can people research it?

#countries #people #abour #history #house #reason #research
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It is no denying that individuals want to know about the
history
 of houses or
apartements
Correct your spelling
apartments
 they actually stay in a number of countries. There are several reasons for
this
,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
people
 need to know the value of their place more specifically
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
also
 need more
information
 to expand or reconstruct their buildings. To find out the
information
, citizens can use
Correct article usage
the goverment's
show examples
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
 system as it is normally open to the public. There are various reasons why
people
 want to find out their
house
information
, as they want to have
knowledgy
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about their housing price. Apart from that, it is beneficial to know about the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
building
Change noun form
building's
show examples
history
 when they are planning to expand
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or rebuild their place again.
For example
,
this
 is especially true among
people
 in New Zealand who have a plan to sell their
house
 in the near future. It is mainly because they want to get detailed
information
 regarding the trend of housing
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
Additionally
, individuals
also
 refer
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
history
 when they expand or repair their
apratment
Correct your spelling
apartment
 since it is essential to get approval from the government. To find out the building's
history
 they live, they can use their country's property system operated by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
It is clear that
 the government has the most accurate
information
 about properties for
thie
Correct your spelling
their
 citizens. As the housing
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
 is opened to the public,
this
 can be the easiest way to research the historical
information
 of buildings. In
counclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is apparent that citizens are looking for their
house
history
due to
 get
knowledgy
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of the price trend or for other purposes. To research the
information
 about
this
, they can use the
governemt
Correct your spelling
government
 system as they have
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 accurate
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
house
history
 for
people
.
Submitted by hmhy0326 on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify any ambiguous phrases for better clarity. For example, 'It is no denying that...' should be 'There is no denying that...'.
introduction conclusion present
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the reasons for interest in house history. E.g., 'People are increasingly interested in the history of their houses to understand value and make informed renovation decisions.'
supported main points
Ensure all main points are fully developed and supported with examples. The section on government systems could be more detailed.
relevant specific examples
Check for spelling and grammatical errors throughout the essay. For instance, 'becuase' should be 'because', and 'goverment' should be 'government'.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the topic and provides logical reasons for why people might be interested in the history of their homes.
coherence cohesion
The connection between wanting to know housing prices and historical information is well made.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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