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Band 3

In some countries, m any more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #m #people #development
In modern times, many people are living alone compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the past in some parts of the world.
This
 essay discusses both its positive and negative progress on independent living. The upside of living alone encourages independence and freedom on a personal matter. If you live alone you may develop independence and resilience from the day to day problems. In an instance,
instead
 of consuming time on talking the
person
 may divert its attention on household chores. On the other side, the downside of living alone puts a
person
 at risk during emergency times. Whenever a
person
 is sick and too weak to go to the hospital no one will be immediately there to help them. Though the
person
 may call or text someone it will take some time for the family member to be with
there
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 physically.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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task achievement
While your essay acknowledges both the positive and negative aspects of living alone, it lacks depth and specificity. To improve task response, elaborate more on your points and provide more specific examples or statistics to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Currently, the transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt. Use transition words and phrases to make the flow of your essay smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should provide a clearer overview of what will be discussed. Additionally, concluding your essay with a summary or a final thought can enhance coherence and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
While you have introduced some main points, further supporting them with detailed explanations and examples would strengthen your essay's impact.
task achievement
You have clearly identified both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic and you do address the question directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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