Some people think that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health

No one can deny that

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

body and mind is significant to ensure a better quality of life.

Therefore

, it is crucial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults to

enducate

Correct your spelling

educate

the younger generations about the awareness of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy well-being.

However

, there are some

agurments

Correct your spelling

arguments

regarding the students

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not receiving a proper health education from the schools. In my perspective, I strongly

diagree

Correct your spelling

disagree

with the statement above and will explain

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

the following paragraph.

To begin

with, the parents play a big role in setting an example to their offspring on how to maintain healthy habits.

This

is because children

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to learn from the adults and their

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

show examples

by mimicking others.

For instance

, kids nowadays pay more attention to screen hours rather than

socialize

Wrong verb form

socialising

show examples

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

peer groups and

this

behaviour

also

can be seen in every

households

Change to a singular noun

household

show examples

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents are responsible

to teach

Change preposition

for teaching

show examples

their

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

from an early age to keep up with good habits

such

as physical activities and

balanced

Correct article usage

a balanced

show examples

diet so that can help them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

understand the importance of

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle.

Thus

, can

reduced

Change the verb form

reduce

show examples

a person's healthcare costs. On the other, the institutions

also

play a part in educating the pupils about the benefits of healthy practice by introducing a curriculum and

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

hygiene, whether a hand washing role play or

foods

Change the noun form

food

show examples

safety

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

both are useful to prevent

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

getting sick.

In addition

this

might enhance

overall

performance namely

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

because individuals with stronger physical and

mind set

Correct your spelling

mindset

show examples

are better and faster

learner

Fix the agreement mistake

learners

show examples

. In conclusion, considering all older generations

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

vital to provide a better vision of healthy lifestyles to the young generations rather than one party because it is impossible.

Hence

, teamwork makes the dream work.

Therefore

, I

trurly

Correct your spelling

truly

disagree with the trend above.

Submitted by tifjong on Mon Jul 29 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all examples and arguments are directly relevant to the topic. For instance, further detail on how schools include health education in the curriculum would enhance the argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence structure and grammar to avoid small inaccuracies, e.g., 'parents are responsible for teaching their youngsters' instead of 'to teach their youngster'.

task achievement

Include more specific examples of school programs or activities that promote health to make the essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay clearly presents a viewpoint and backs it up with supporting details. Both the introduction and conclusion are effectively utilized.

task achievement

The importance of both parental and institutional roles in health education is well considered, providing a balanced perspective.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Health education
Curriculum
Healthy lifestyle
Diet
Exercise
Mental health
Hygiene
Practical skills
Responsibility
Collaboration
Long-term benefits
Reduced healthcare costs
Academic performance
Well-being
Comprehensive health programs
Positive outcomes

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Some people think that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that learning a foreign language is an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technology and other vocational subjects

some think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard id to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. (to what extent do you agree or disagree whit this opinion.

People find it difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skills are really important? Do you agree that public speaking should be taught at school?

You want to learn a language. A teacher who teaches this language lives near the area where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In your letter: - say how you came to know about him/her - explain why you want to learn this language - ask what help he/she can offer

In today's very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reason and provide specific examples to support your answer.