Some people think governments should spend money looking for life on the other planets, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth.

Nowadays many
people
debate whether the state authorities should waste money for alien
life
on other planets.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
some
people
talk about solving issues on our
planet
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
more important than another
life
in
cosmic
Correct article usage
a cosmic
show examples
area. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
government should make a list of
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
for discovering cosmic
life
but the main purpose should be solving
problems
on our
planet
.
According to
some
people
expenses for observing cosmic
life
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
crucial for developing science in
this
field.
This
also
could be
benefited
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
for our
future
in case of
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
disaster on our
planet
,
therefore
we could move to another
planet
and continue
life
Add an article
a life
the life
show examples
of humankind. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
an array of movies
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
fantastic style that clearly
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
us what could
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
our
planet
if a nuclear bomb explodes.
While
some scientists exploring planets suitable for human living,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
are investigating spaceships which could carry
people
from Earth to another
planet
.
Although
the question of gathering and preserving
seed
Fix the agreement mistake
seeds
show examples
of plants is much more important to continuing our
life
on another site, which
also
demands expenditures.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
another group of
people
claims
necessity
Add an article
the necessity
show examples
of concentrating on our
planet
with its own
problems
which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
concern everybody not only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
but nowadays. Pollution of
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
, environmental impacts of logging, fumes from automobiles that
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
show examples
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
and causes an effect of Greenhouse,
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are a few portion of
issues
Correct article usage
the issues
show examples
on Earth. The range of
problems
on our
planet
is so enormous that if we
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
not work
for solving
Change preposition
to solve
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
now,
then
it could destroy human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. We have to focus on our
planet
to save it and when the huge
problems
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
solved
then
we could change our target to cosmic space. What about me, my point of view is more about
balance
Add an article
the balance
a balance
show examples
between these two groups of
people
. I
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
that solving our
problems
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
vital but we
also
should be aware of cosmic
life
thoroughly.
These two side
Change the determiner
This two side
These two sides
show examples
of science is indispensable for our
future
.
To sum up
, science is essential and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to be paid
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
which
also
should focus on the real
problems
of our time. To keep balance in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
fields is vital for maintaining and continuing our
future
life
level and prospects.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay needs more specific and relevant examples to support the main points. Try to incorporate concrete, real-world examples to make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Some ideas and arguments are not fully developed and lack clarity. Aim to express ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Ensure to elaborate on each point with sufficient detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next, and that each paragraph contains one main idea supported by relevant arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with stronger evidence and explanations. More thoroughly developed supporting points will help clarify your argument and persuade the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. This helps guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced perspective. This adds depth to your essay and shows that you have considered multiple viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!