IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.dicuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people you decided to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies #dicuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Taking a
gap
year
 between high school and
university
 is increasingly popular among young people in some countries.
This
 period, often used for work or travel, offers both advantages and disadvantages. One significant advantage is the opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 exposes young people to diverse cultures and perspectives, broadening their horizons and fostering independence. Working,
on the other hand
, provides practical experience and financial savings, which can be beneficial for future
university
 expenses.
Additionally
, a
gap
year
 can help students gain clarity on their academic and career goals, leading to more informed decisions when they begin their
university
 studies.
However
, there are
also
 notable disadvantages. A
gap
year
 may result in a loss of academic momentum. Students might find it challenging to return to a structured academic environment after a
year
 of freedom and flexibility. There is
also
 the risk of falling behind peers who proceed directly to
university
, potentially affecting their career timeline.
Furthermore
, the financial cost of travel can be substantial, and not all families can afford
this
 expense. In conclusion,
while
 a
gap
year
 can offer valuable experiences and personal growth, it
also
 poses risks related to academic continuity and financial costs. Young people should carefully weigh these factors before deciding to take a
year
 off between high school and
university
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For example, providing a real-life scenario or quoting a statistic could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly by using linking words or phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: