City environments are becoming and healthy suggest causes and solutions

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Nowadays some
people
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are concerned about their and their relatives' health.
People
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strongly believe that environments
such
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as urban ones are not as healthy as they used to be. There are a number of reasons for thinking seriously about
this
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. Many factors contribute to an unhealthy urban environment. One of these is the lack of trees and parks. Many major cities are focused on making
people
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's lives better by building new shopping
centers
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centres
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, new schools,
hospitals
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and hospitals
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, and
also
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trying to solve traffic jams with new roads. All
this
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leads to
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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and reduction of plants. To deal with
this
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growing and serious problem the government should change their plans and give their preferences to planting trees and building more parks. As for residents, can take part in planting trees volunteering. These actions apparently will alleviate the situation. Another factor is
carbon
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footprint. As it is known, every person produces a different amount of
carbon
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footprint because it depends on
people
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’s actions.
For instance
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,
people
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who commute by car produce more
carbon
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than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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commute by electric cars or bicycles. To tackle
this
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situation
people
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can refuse cars and find alternatives.
Also
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to reduce
carbon
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footprint residents can replace plastic with some eco-friendly materials.
To conclude
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, life in urban environments has indeed become poor quality.
This
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can be attributed to advanced technology. Fortunately, it can be solved by some activities. It will take an enormous amount of time, but I am strongly convinced that the situation will be fixed in the near future.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay introduces main points and a conclusion effectively, the connection between them could be strengthened. Consider using more varied transitional words or phrases to guide the reader more smoothly.
Task Achievement
You have expressed several ideas regarding the causes and solutions to the unhealthy urban environment; however, delving deeper into some specific examples and exploring more detailed implications would make the essay more compelling.
Task Achievement
Consider breaking down complex sentences or ideas into shorter, clearer sentences to improve clarity. This will ensure every idea you present is immediately comprehensible to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction sets a clear context for the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a hopeful viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Your emphasis on tree planting and reducing the carbon footprint are practical solutions that align well with your diagnosis of the problem.
Coherence and Cohesion
You offer a structured response by considering multiple aspects (e.g., lack of trees, carbon footprint) of the problem, showing a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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