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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table graphs illustrate the differences in ownership of electrical machines and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on housework in
households
Use synonyms
 in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of all three appliances used by
households
Use synonyms
 increased significantly.
While
Linking Words
 the amount of time per household decreased gradually over the entire period. In terms of electrical appliances, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
used
Correct pronoun usage
that used
show examples
 refrigerators grew dramatically from 0% to 80% in 1960,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
 2019 it had increased to 100%.
While
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of washing machines used by
households
Use synonyms
 started at 40% which is more than the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of vacuum cleaners it was around 30%, but by 1980, it had changed to ( under 70% and about 80% respectively). In the
last
Linking Words
 year, the number of people who used vacuum cleaners was similar to refrigerators about exactly 100%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of individuals
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 washing machines reached just above 70%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week and per person started at 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 1920,
then
Linking Words
 it dropped gradually to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, households, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • changes
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • amount of time
  • housework
  • households
  • significantly
  • increased
  • decreased
  • majority
  • refrigerators
  • washing machines
  • televisions
  • advanced
  • dishwashers
  • air conditioning units
  • average
  • tasks
  • cooking
  • cleaning
  • laundry
  • availability
  • easier
  • faster
  • evolution
  • impact
  • distribution
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