Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In today's world, some individuals are of the opinion that it is
unessential
for youth to go to school as they Correct word choice
unnecessary
could
acquire knowledge on the Wrong verb form
can
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
while
it is believed that directly
learning is more significant. From my standpoint, Change the word
direct
i
wholly gravitate Change the capitalization
I
on
the second statement Change preposition
to
due to
some underlying ground, despite some reservations. And my essay will expound upon its reasons as well as
provide practical examples.
On the one hand, it is undeniable going to school brings numerous benefits to students
. Specifically, direct interaction is of decisive importance since instructors could simply manage the behavior
of each Change the spelling
behaviour
students
in their classes to foster Change to a singular noun
student
as well as
support them to learn more
harder and more sufficiently so that they may gain better Change the word
apply
study's
results. Change noun form
study
For instance
, most children have tons of questions that need to be answered immediately, could
receive Correct word choice
and could
it
without delay owing to low-data wifi.
Correct pronoun usage
them
On the other hand
, the young generation can also
receive plenty of merits, specifically for the aspect of convenience. At present, the development of technology has been growing uncontrollably, people could
use their technological devices Wrong verb form
can
such
as a
Correct article usage
apply
phone
or Fix the agreement mistake
phones
a
Correct article usage
apply
laptop
to learn anywhere without Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
concern
Add an article
the concern
of
distance. Change preposition
about
Thus
, it paves the way for all students'
types an ease of acquiring valuable knowledge. In the case of learners who Change noun form
students
frequently
late Add a missing verb
are frequently
in
their Change preposition
for
class
, one of the greatest Fix the agreement mistake
classes
solution
to deal with Change to a plural noun
solutions
this
problem is learn
on online apps including Zooms, and Google Meets.
In conclusion, even though online learning Fix the infinitive
to learn
contribute
significantly Change the verb form
contributes
in
education, direct learning still Change preposition
to
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
a
Change the article
an
irreplacable
role, for instructors can simply interact and Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
students
may have the
greater Correct article usage
apply
result
in their Fix the agreement mistake
results
class
.Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction for better clarity. Avoid phrases like "due to some underlying ground" which can be vague. Present your thesis more directly.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar. For example, "learn more harder and more sufficiently" should be "work harder and more efficiently."
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You clearly addressed both views, which satisfies the task requirements well.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, which strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.