Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's world, some individuals are of the opinion that it is
unessential
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unnecessary
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for youth to go to school as they
could
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can
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acquire knowledge on the
internet
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Internet
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while
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it is believed that
directly
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direct
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learning is more significant. From my standpoint,
i
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I
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wholly gravitate
on
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to
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the second statement
due to
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some underlying ground, despite some reservations. And my essay will expound upon its reasons
as well as
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provide practical examples. On the one hand, it is undeniable going to school brings numerous benefits to
students
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. Specifically, direct interaction is of decisive importance since instructors could simply manage the
behavior
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behaviour
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of each
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students
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student
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in their classes to foster
as well as
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support them to learn
more
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apply
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harder and more sufficiently so that they may gain better
study's
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study
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results.
For instance
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, most children have tons of questions that need to be answered immediately,
could
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and could
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receive
it
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them
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without delay owing to low-data wifi.
On the other hand
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, the young generation can
also
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receive plenty of merits, specifically for the aspect of convenience. At present, the development of technology has been growing uncontrollably, people
could
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can
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use their technological devices
such
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as
a
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apply
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phone
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phones
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or
a
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apply
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laptop
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laptops
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to learn anywhere without
concern
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the concern
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of
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about
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distance.
Thus
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, it paves the way for all
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students'
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students
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types an ease of acquiring valuable knowledge. In the case of learners who
frequently
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are frequently
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late
in
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for
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their
class
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classes
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, one of the greatest
solution
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solutions
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to deal with
this
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problem is
learn
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to learn
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on online apps including Zooms, and Google Meets. In conclusion, even though online learning
contribute
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contributes
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significantly
in
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to
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education, direct learning still
play
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plays
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a
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an
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irreplacable
Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
role, for instructors can simply interact and
students
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may have
the
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apply
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greater
result
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results
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in their
class
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classes
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.

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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction for better clarity. Avoid phrases like "due to some underlying ground" which can be vague. Present your thesis more directly.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar. For example, "learn more harder and more sufficiently" should be "work harder and more efficiently."
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You clearly addressed both views, which satisfies the task requirements well.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, which strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • customizable learning pace
  • global connectivity
  • social skills development
  • self-discipline
  • unequal access to technology
  • structured environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • supervised learning
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • peer pressure
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