Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food,clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

I think
children
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
individuals and
clevers
Correct your spelling
clever
cleavers
.There are two
opinions
some people believe that allowing
children
to make their own choices on everyday matters And other people believe that it is important for
children
to make decisions about matters that affect them. I think the two
opinions
no
Add a missing verb
have no
show examples
problems.
The next
Correct article usage
Next
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
my
opinions
about
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
opinions
.
First,
children
should be
devoloped
Correct your spelling
developed
their personal
capable
Replace the word
capabilities
show examples
Such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as,
children
are
coking
Correct your spelling
cooking
show examples
food that not only
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
their
capable
Replace the word
capability
show examples
but
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
something. Next
children
are washing clothes that not only
devolop
Correct your spelling
develop
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
hard work habit but
also
lose parents something, housework. And I think
children
should
be had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
themselves
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
. Second,
children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do everything that capable is
not
Change preposition
of not
show examples
enable
Wrong verb form
enabled
show examples
.
Such
as,
children
are cooking food that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
up some
questiones
Correct your spelling
questions
. And
children
also
make up blood.
Next,
children
have themselves
entertainmens
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
that led to
devolope
Correct your spelling
develop
bad
habitit
Correct your spelling
habitat
. All in All, I think
children
who have
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
capable and
desision
Correct your spelling
decisions
some things. But not should be decisioned themselves everything.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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introduction conclusion present
Try to strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the topic and outlining the points you will discuss.
logical structure
It would be beneficial to provide more coherent structure to your paragraphs, making sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point and follows a logical flow.
relevant specific examples
Include specific examples or anecdotes to support your points. This helps to make your argument more convincing and relatable.
complete response
You have addressed both views in the essay, which is essential for this task.
supported main points
You have provided reasons to support your points, which showcases your ability to develop an argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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