Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food,clothes and entertainment)is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

I think

children

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

individuals and

clevers

Correct your spelling

clever

cleavers

.There are two

opinions

Use synonyms

some people believe that allowing

children

Use synonyms

to make their own choices on everyday matters And other people believe that it is important for

children

Use synonyms

to make decisions about matters that affect them. I think the two

opinions

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

have no

show examples

problems.

The next

Correct article usage

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

opinions

Use synonyms

about

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

opinions

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 1

First,

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should be

devoloped

Correct your spelling

developed

their personal

capable

Replace the word

capabilities

show examples

Linking Words

Such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

as,

children

Use synonyms

are

coking

Correct your spelling

cooking

show examples

food that not only

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

their

capable

Replace the word

capability

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

something. Next

children

Use synonyms

are washing clothes that not only

devolop

Correct your spelling

develop

them

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

hard work habit but

also

Linking Words

lose parents something, housework. And I think

children

Use synonyms

should

be had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

themselves

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

Body paragraph 2

Second,

children

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

do everything that capable is

not

Change preposition

of not

show examples

enable

Wrong verb form

enabled

show examples

Such

Linking Words

as,

children

Use synonyms

are cooking food that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

up some

questiones

Correct your spelling

questions

. And

children

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

make up blood.

Next,

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

have themselves

entertainmens

Correct your spelling

entertainment

entertainments

that led to

devolope

Correct your spelling

develop

bad

habitit

Correct your spelling

habitat

Conclusion

All in All, I think

children

Use synonyms

who have

person

Add an article

a person

show examples

capable and

desision

Correct your spelling

decisions

some things. But not should be decisioned themselves everything.

fiasngs

Jul 29, 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Try to strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the topic and outlining the points you will discuss.

logical structure

It would be beneficial to provide more coherent structure to your paragraphs, making sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point and follows a logical flow.

relevant specific examples

Include specific examples or anecdotes to support your points. This helps to make your argument more convincing and relatable.

complete response

You have addressed both views in the essay, which is essential for this task.

supported main points

You have provided reasons to support your points, which showcases your ability to develop an argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomy
Consequence-awareness
Self-centered
Informal decision-making education
Child development
Age-appropriate choices
Cognitive growth
Fostering independence
Parental guidance
Societal norms
Interpersonal consideration
Balance of freedom
Individualism versus collectivism
Experience-based learning

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