It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays it is often believed that the major factors that affect a child’s advancement are peers, television and pop culture and a constructive view is that household play a crucial role.
Both factors play an important role when it comes to the rise of a child.
This
essay will discuss both sides and argue in favour of the latter.
On the one hand, the media offspring consume affects their thoughts and their behaviour.
The books they read and the music they listen to have a great impact on their personality because sometimes it is seen that the offspring start copying the things they watch and read. Most of the time these things help them to grow both mentally and physically. For instance
, my cousin likes to watch the news and read current affairs magazines, he clears the government exam on his first attempt. When you have good friends, they also
help you to grow in so many fields like study, games and communication.
On the other hand
, the family also
play a crucial role in the advancement of their offspring during their initial rise they teach them what is right and what is wrong, always make sure that they are in good condition and provide all the resources which help them in their success. For instance
, parents decide on school and college which help
their kids to a great extent.
In my opinion, it is the parents who help Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
offspring
in many ways, they provide all the good things which help their offspring whether it is books or access to media. In one way other they are always ready to help.
In conclusion, one can say parents always help their offspring in their advancement and give them privileges Correct pronoun usage
their offspring
such
as good books, music and media consumption on the other side peers give them life experienc
Correct your spelling
experience
Submitted by vivek6909127 on
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task response
The essay generally addresses both views of the issue, but it could benefit from more in-depth discussion and analysis. Ensure each point is examined thoroughly and provide more relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar. For instance, phrases like 'media offspring consume' could be clearer. Using varied sentence structures will improve readability and engagement.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the importance of the topic, and make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed. This will enhance the overall structure of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to ensure smooth flow. Using linking words or phrases can help better connect your ideas and improve the coherence of your essay.
introduction
Your introduction clearly outlines both viewpoints and sets up the essay effectively.
support
You provided personal examples. This adds authenticity and strengthens your arguments.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, which is reflected in your ability to present relevant points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.