IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a growing debate about whether shops should prioritize selling
locally produced
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locally-produced
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food
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 over imported
products
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.
While
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 some people argue that local
food
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 should be prioritized, others believe that imported
foods
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also
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 have their place in the market. I generally agree with the idea of promoting local
food
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products
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, but I
also
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 recognize the importance of offering a variety of imported goods. One of the main advantages of selling locally produced
food
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 is the support it provides to local farmers and the economy. By purchasing local
products
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,
consumers
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 help sustain local agriculture and contribute to the livelihoods of farmers in their communities.
This
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 can lead to stronger local economies and more job opportunities.
Additionally
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, local
food
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 often has a smaller carbon footprint compared to imported goods. The reduced need for long-distance transportation means less fuel consumption and lower greenhouse gas emissions, which is beneficial for the environment. Another benefit of locally produced
food
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 is freshness and quality. Local produce is often harvested at peak ripeness and reaches
consumers
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 faster, ensuring better taste and nutritional value.
For example
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, fruits and vegetables that are grown locally and sold quickly tend to be fresher and more flavorful than those that have been transported long distances.
Moreover
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, buying local
food
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 can help maintain biodiversity and preserve regional
food
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 varieties that might
otherwise
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 be lost.
However
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, there are
also
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 reasons to support the availability of imported
food
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products
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. Importing
food
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 allows
consumers
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 to enjoy a wider variety of
products
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 that may not be available locally
due to
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 climate or seasonal limitations.
For instance
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, tropical fruits like bananas and mangoes are not typically grown in temperate regions but are popular and nutritious
foods
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.
Additionally
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, imported
foods
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 can be essential during times of local shortages or natural disasters, ensuring a stable
food
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 supply for the population.
Furthermore
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, globalization has created interconnected
food
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 markets, and imports can sometimes be more cost-effective.
This
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 can result in lower prices for
consumers
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, making certain
products
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 more affordable and accessible.
For example
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, some countries may produce specific
foods
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 more efficiently and cheaply than others, providing economic benefits through trade. In conclusion,
while
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 prioritizing locally produced
food
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 has significant advantages
such
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 as supporting local economies, reducing environmental impact, and ensuring freshness, there are
also
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 valid reasons for importing
food
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, including variety, availability, and cost-effectiveness.
Therefore
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, I believe that a balanced approach, where shops offer both local and imported
foods
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, is the best way to meet the diverse needs and preferences of
consumers
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.

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides a well-rounded argument. For further improvement, incorporating a few more specific examples or real-life statistics could strengthen the points made.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance the logical flow, you could use more transitional phrases between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively supports main points with relevant reasons and examples, showing a high level of coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
It addresses the task comprehensively, presenting a balanced view that acknowledges both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented, reinforcing the essay's main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • local economy
  • support local farmers
  • economic growth
  • freshness
  • nutritional value
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable
  • cultural significance
  • diverse market
  • seasonal offerings
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