IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community?

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The
people
Use synonyms
 who receive more advantage from the country for a long
time
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 have to give back to the society. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 concept and I will elaborate my reasons in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, the country has spent a lot of money to pay for workers. Most of the money is retrieved from citizens in the
nation
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 by tax.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job seekers should realize their income. It makes sense that they have to do something in order to show gratitude to the community.
For example
Linking Words
, when they have free
time
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, they are supposed to take
this
Linking Words
 opportunity to work as a volunteer. Especially helping the
people
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 who live in remote areas.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The
people
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 who have worked in the government for a long
time
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, have more knowledge and experience.
This
Linking Words
 can bring plenty of advantages back to the
county
Correct your spelling
country
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.
Moreover
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, they have good relationships and connections with several sections
in
Change preposition
of
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 the government. So, they can use
this
Linking Words
 to support the
nation
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, Some
people
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 have been working as doctors for a long
time
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,
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 they retire from
thiers
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their
 position, they are willing to use the knowledge to help
people
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 in small villages around the countryside.
This
Linking Words
 is very useful for the overview of the
nation
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,
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apply
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 because they are not only encouraging the population
,
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apply
show examples
 but fostering the whole of the country. In conclusion, I fully agree that the
people
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 who work and receive advantage from the
nation
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 for
Correct your spelling
a long
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along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
time
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,
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apply
show examples
 should give back something to help the whole of the
nation
Use synonyms

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure that is easy for the reader to follow. The essay should begin with an introduction that clearly states your position, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea with relevant supporting details, concluding with a summarizing paragraph that restates your stance and reviews key points.
Task Achievement
Your essay should fully address all parts of the task. It should present a clear and focused position throughout your response and include a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points. Make sure to provide specific examples to support your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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