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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia. in 2010

The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia. in 2010
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The pie charts compare the total quantity of students per class in primary schools in four
states
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 of
Australia
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, namely New South Wales, South
Australia
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,
Australia
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 Capital
Territory
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, and Western
Australia
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 in the year 2010. From an
overall
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 perspective,
Australia
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's primary
classes
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 were mainly under 25 students and the more-than-30-student
classes
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 were least common across all
states
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.
Firstly
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, looking at
classes
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 with 30 students and more, the figures for those were 1% in
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Correct article usage
the Australia
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Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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 Capital
Territory
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 and 4-5% in three other
states
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.
Secondly
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, in terms of 26-to-30-student
classes
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,
this
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 kind of
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classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
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 came as the second least popular size in New South Wales and Western
Australia
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 with 33% and 27%, respectively
while
Linking Words
 in
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Correct article usage
the Australia
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Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 Capital
Territory
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,
this
Linking Words
 category made up just one-tenth. The
classes
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 with 21 to 25 members accounted for the highest proportion in almost all
states
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,
however
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, South
Australia
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 was the exception at that time with just one-third. Another favourite size was less than 20 children, which occupied a good percentage of 38% and 36% in
Australia
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 Capital
Territory
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 and South
Australia
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, respectively, and a quarter in New South Wales and Western
Australia
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words states, australia, territory, classes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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