Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, school is taking more and more
time
in children's lives. Some believe that teenagers are obliged to attend school full-Use synonyms
time
until they are 18, Use synonyms
while
others argue that school is not the only means of acquiring Linking Words
education
and that young Use synonyms
people
have the right to explore the world. I believe that Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
education
is a fundamental part of growing up, it is not the only way to learn and achieve success.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, young Linking Words
people
shouldn't solely live to study or work. They are at an age where there must be a balance between educational development and character growth. Use synonyms
Students
who are forced to spend countless hours studying will have a hard Use synonyms
time
communicating with their peers, Use synonyms
consequently
isolating them from the world around them. Linking Words
This
isolation might lead to social issues in the future, in their jobs, or with their families. Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
students
who Use synonyms
had
a balanced lifestyle, where they Wrong verb form
have
were
able to have fun and go out with friends, will have more experiences that will help them later in life.
Wrong verb form
are
Secondly
, full-Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
education
might not be as effective as imagined. Use synonyms
This
is because younger Linking Words
people
have a limited attention span, meaning they will have a hard Use synonyms
time
digesting all the information for a long period. Use synonyms
This
will not only hinder educational progress but Linking Words
also
cause negative emotions towards the learning process in general. Most of the Linking Words
time
, these emotions are reflected in Use synonyms
students
' unwanted Use synonyms
behavior
in schools. To achieve successful teaching environments, Change the spelling
behaviour
students
shouldn't be forced to have full-Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
education
. Use synonyms
Instead
, schools should follow a balanced approach to foster positive relationships between young Linking Words
people
and Use synonyms
education
.
In the end, the notion that Use synonyms
students
should be obliged to have full-Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
education
has many drawbacks that hinder the learning process. It leads to a lack of communication skills and fosters negative emotions towards Use synonyms
education
. Use synonyms
Education
should be modernized to reflect the diverse ways in which young Use synonyms
people
learn and grow, allowing them to develop both academically and personally. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
education
is crucial, it should not be the sole focus of a young person's life.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Consider supporting your points with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and develops it fully without introducing unrelated points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, articulating a nuanced perspective that values both education and personal growth.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph building on the previous one to develop the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has both an effective introduction and a strong conclusion, which help create a cohesive argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example