Some people think that computers are more of a hindrance than a help in today's society. Others believe that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

#people #computers #hindrance #help #society #tools #work

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how useful a

computer

is to

people

. It cannot be denied that the

computer

has become an integral part of our lives.

However

, there is absolute agreement as to whether a

computer

should be a help or a hindrance. It is now widely believed that computers are necessary for young

people

to stimulate their education. As evidence of

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

they point to

people

who, using a

computer

, have good abilities everywhere.

Moreover

, they have increased human potential to achieve competitiveness among

people

and

also

created

quality

Add an article

a quality

the quality

show examples

of life for them.

This

can be explained by the fact that today the most popular and

highly paid

Add a hyphen

highly-paid

show examples

profession is

computer

science.

As a result

, the

computer

helps

people

more than it hinders.

On the other hand

, some argue that through the use of computers, our world will turn into a human-robot.

For example

, they mention that they will try to solve many problems, regardless of their type, using the

computer

and the Internet rather than with their minds,

in addition

, they cannot sit and solve long-term problems as they are used to using a

computer

This

also

one of the shortcomings of human development. The explanation lies in the fact that frequent

computer

use reduces our abilities, intelligence and determination. In conclusion, taking into account all the above, I would say that the use of computers is more useful than a hindrance. In my opinion,

on the contrary

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

is a new creation of our world, we should make the most of it to get good opportunities.

Submitted by dnm.best on Wed Oct 23 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples can make your essay more convincing and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of ideas by using clearer transitions between points. This will help the reader follow your argument more seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant details. This improves clarity and cohesion.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the discussion effectively.

introduction conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and the main points discussed in the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both opinions regarding the usefulness of computers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

hindrance
indispensable
over-reliance
privacy breaches
productivity
global communication
vast amounts of information
efficiency
connectivity

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Some people think that computers are more of a hindrance than a help in today's society. Others believe that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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