Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones . Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Mobile

phones

Use synonyms

have become a part and parcel of our lives .Nowadays, offspring spend most of their

time

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on mobile

phones

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. There are several reasons for

this

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increase, but one foremost cause is the advancement in technology. From my perspective,

this

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is a negative development. In

this

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essay , I will elaborate on my opinion with reasons

as well as

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examples .

To begin

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with , one of the most significant drawbacks is the loss of education. What I mean to say is that if children spend most of their

time

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on mobile

phones

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watching movies and cartoons ,

then

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they do not have enough

time

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to concentrate on their studies properly

as a result

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they face failure in their academic lives .

For instance

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, Norway's government , in 2022, reported that a large number of candidates fail in their country in their professional lives

due to

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their improper concentration on studies . Another contributing factor is that the excessive use of smartphones causes health problems. If offspring spend most of their

time

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playing games it will weaken their eyesight.They

also

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get tired which causes them various mental disorders. Turning to the other side of the spectrum, some people argue that mobile

phones

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are beneficial for children because they learn several useful activities from them like coding , editing and so on .

For example

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, now all over the world , people are earning money from trading by using smartphones.

To conclude

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, the demerits of excessive utilization of mobile

phones

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outweigh its benefits

such

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as loss of education and health issues. I personally recommend that parents should prevent their children from using digital devices too

muc

Correct your spelling

much

mianraza686Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear stand and addresses both parts of the task prompt. However, it would benefit from further development of ideas and examples, especially in terms of explaining why this is a negative development.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas can be smoother to ensure better flow. For instance, transitioning between the idea of education loss and health issues could be more cohesive.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's perspective.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes relevant examples to support the main points, such as the reference to Norway's government report.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones . Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that living in a country is an interesting experience while some think that living where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importatnt for people. Why misht this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many countries, government are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government university?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.